I have an 11 year old daughter with SPD. I've always known something was amiss with N but due to family aversion to therapy and such was told "she'll grow out of it" or "she'll get over it." Well, here we are entering the prepubescent years and it's worse than ever. She has daily meltdowns, sometimes multiples and her anger and frustration has turned outward to other family members, mainly me. I am so emotionally drained and frustrated. We are beginning OT soon and have been receiving counseling for 2 weeks but no breakthroughs yet. Still hopeful, but exhausted.
Welcome. I hope you find encouragement here. We eliminated meltdowns by doing the Feingold Diet, but it's not easy; if you're willing to give it a go, it may help. For our daughter, we discovered the meltdowns were due to a sensitivity to BHT, which is in many, many things, both on label and off label.
My heart goes out to you. one thing you could try is a Functional Medicine doc who may be able to look at her physiology as a whole. We are gluten free and go to great lengths with supplements to heal. It helps!
We also do very little processed food and mostly organic produce and meats. It takes time but now is 2nd nature. The minute my daughter is off her whole foods diet she becomes more sensitive again.
Another thing to think about is nutrient deficiencies, leaky gut and stress hormones.
I wish you the best!
Also just puberty IS hard for us