Hey everyone! New here! We are about 3 months into our SPD journey. I have an almost 4yo son who is a sensory seeker and has auditory and tactile defensiveness. We are struggling with discipline. Nothing seems to work and while I understand that typical positive and negative reinforcement techniques may not work with him, there has to be something we can do. He is becoming very defiant and I we need to get this under control. Time-out doesn't work. He won't stay there for a second....any advice would be so appreciated. Thanks!
There are two resources I would recommend. You'll have to look at them both to determine which would work better for you.
1. Effective Parenting for the Hard to Manage Child by Georgia DeGangi
2. Transforming the Difficult Child by Howard Glasser and Jennifer Easley
We found the first option worked for us.
belle my son has mostly modulation issues with tactile, vestibulary and auditory senses. He's generally a good kid, but during test time at school or after a very excitable weekend he does act out.
The best thing for us has been to call attention to what he's doing - sometimes he's so shut down he doesn't consciously realise what he is doing or how he is behaving.
Say what you expect - keep it short. Make sure he gets it.
Have consequences that are appropriate and that you are willing to follow through on. No TV for a day/week - no computer games/PSP/Wii/Xbox or whatever he absolutely loves to do.
Don't do time out, do quiet time. Most often when things get beyond ridiculous he is really overstimulated, and after having some time on his own or even going to bed a little earlier (not as a punishment though) can work wonders. When he comes out we do something - wrestle or jump on the trampoline. He does gymnastics and is obsessed with handstands and walking on his hands and that's great for joint input
We haven't seen a shutdown or much of a meltdown in months - literally - but he did have one at OT once a while ago, and what I would honestly have put down to pure bad behaviour, she attributed to handling him incorrectly and giving him a challenge that was too difficult, without giving him a graceful out. He was VERY rude, and he would have been in trouble for that at home, but she phoned me the next day and said she had made a mistake and it wasn't him behaving badly, it was him starting to shut down.
No - not everything should be put at the feet of the SPD label, but I find the more I try to accommodate his sensory needs and make allowances on days that have been hard on him, sensory wise, the better we do.
Good luck...