How do you discipline a child that gets so annoyed with the sound of his family members chewing that he literally punches and kicks them? Even if I go upstairs to eat he follows me saying "Mom, you better not be eating up there you freak! He calls me stupid says he hates his brother and tells his Dad to shut up. He is so tortured inside by the anger that seeing another person eat causes. He also hates certain noises, smells, etc in this way. He is on the waitlist to see a behavioral therapist but what should I do in the meantime? OT is such a joke to me and I've spent thousands on it. He does not display these characteristics in OT. HELP!
Thanks
J
Hi J,
I hear your utter frustration. I have a couple ideas for you to consider...It sounds like your son is probably already in sensory overload when this happens and that something about eating is a trigger--the final stray. Is it worse at the end of the day/dinner time? Does/might any physical input prior to meals improve his self-regulation? How well does your child sleep? Our daughter, while still young would have major meltdowns with things that wouldn't be a trigger to non-spd kiddos and it would "look" like a major behavioral issue but was mostly spd flight or fight response which she really could not control behaviorally (because its innate). I got a clue from this forum that she had a retained Moro reflex and checked it out with OT and began treating that--which led to great gains. Figuring out better sleep was/is big for us too. Our OTs are our lifeline, so if you are not happy with them, maybe its time to look some more... I think one of the toughest things about SPD parenting is learning to distinguish when its a behavioral issue and when its SPD (so intertwined)... As for what to do, perhaps trying to catch an opportune moment when your son is calm and well regulated and explaining calmly that the abusive behavior is NOT acceptable even if the stimulus(eating) is really impacting him and then brainstorm with him what other things he could do to self soothe (headphones? lycra swing, deep pressure) and then do some "practice runs" when you pretend that the stimulus is their and he practices the appropriate response. Keep in mind he may not be able to do even this successfully or consistently if he's operating in chronic sensory overload. J, it might also be worth having him try musician earplugs (if he can tolerate them) to lower the sound intensity without impacting his ability to hear conversations, etc.
Sirena
Thanks for your response Sirena. His behavior, in general, is worse at the end of the day, but the eating is an issue at breakfast too. Things have really escalated for us, because as of the last 3 weeks he has decided it is ok to have outbursts in public, at baseball, and at school.
What is the treatment for a retained Moro reflex? We have an appt with a therapist next week.
Thanks again
Jenni
Hello!I am sorry that your son and you are going through this. I really am.As a child I had sensory overload and temper outbursts.It sounds like your son has trouble with transitions and needs to have a weighted vest to sooth himself. I was thinking the vest can help with sensory overload. Also a time out to ease himself into tension fraught circumstances.It is possible his diet also makes him prone to temper outbursts.Allergies can do that.I have a book called Secrets to controlling your weight cravings and mood Second edition by Maria Emmerich. The book has a neurotransmitter deficiency checklist and tells you what foods and supplements that remedy them. I also read about a gluten free cookbook about a single dad and his autistic son. Well his son was having temper outbursts and his autism was being treated by medications and OT. So his dad tested his son for allergies. Sure enough gluten and dairy were the culprits behind his behavior. I do not have the name of the cookbook or author. But that did prove to me that diet can have a big impact on behavior. Good luck to you both and I will pray to the Goddess that you both get a solution and relief from your suffering.
When I was a kid I used to ask to play NPR or some form of news radio while at the dinner table. It kept me from losing my cool and shouting at my dad at dinner time, and it was also mentally engaging. While that probably skirts around the issue of your child's outbursts, it does help to ease the discomfort of having to hear someone chew or scrape their fork against their teeth.