08-25-2015, 04:29 PM
Hi all, first time poster and brand new member. Allow me to provide some background to our situation here...
My wife and I are the adoptive parents of two adorable children. Our oldest is 2 1/2 years old, our youngest is 1 1/2, oldest is a boy, youngest is a girl. Both children were pretty severely affected by drugs in utero, with the oldest being exposed to methamphetamines, cocaine, heroin, crack, marijuana, and tobacco, while the youngest was limited to marijuana, tobacco, alcohol, and small amounts of methamphetamines. Our youngest has been diagnosed with later stage Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (none to limited physical deformities, slight to moderate cognitive and motor delays) as a result of her exposure, confirmed by genetic testing. Both children are in occupational therapy, both are in speech therapy, both have been seen by infant mental health specialists.
Due to their exposure in utero, both have demonstrated Sensory Processing Disorder traits, and have been receiving occupational and physical therapy to assist them in developing around it. Up until fairly recently, both children were good nappers and good eaters. My oldest was a bit picky, but would eventually eat enough to make his parents happy. Within the last few months, however, that has changed. He now refuses to eat with any sort of regularity. He throws his food, cries, throws tantrums, or stubbornly refuses to eat until we let him out of his booster chair. It's no better in a traditional high chair, either, as he now has the ability to rock his chair to the point that he can tip it over. If we don't let him out of his chair, he is such a disruptive force at the table that he often derails the feeding of our youngest, as well, and this is intolerable, as both children are underweight according to the pediatric guidelines.
Even more recently he has started refusing to sleep. He used to be a great napper, who would go to bed and stay asleep for anywhere from two to four hours after his lunch, and then happily go to sleep at night at 7-7:30, and sleep until 7-8 AM. Now, he climbs out of his bed, over to the bedroom door, and screams through the door jamb and kicks the door sometimes for hours. The other night, he was at it until 1 AM, after being put down at 7 PM. I'm in the military and have the typical o-dark-30 wake up time, so such late night or early morning bedtimes are not sustainable, and I haven't gotten more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep any night over the past three months, including weekends, because his mornings start at 6 AM. My wife, who works from home has less extreme, but still unacceptable amounts of sleep deprivation going for her.
We swaddle our toddlers, we have weighted sensory blankets, we have night time routines that are regular and soothing, we don't rile them up and then expect them to flip the sleep switch. We follow the guidelines and advice given on various parenting websites, and none of it works. I expect that hunger plays a part in him not sleeping, but I seriously cannot get him to eat. What he successfully eats today is thrown on the floor in a fit tomorrow, and I can't sustainably provide him with 37 choices for his every meal.
Please provide us with some suggestions, we have reached the end of our rope! Thanks.
My wife and I are the adoptive parents of two adorable children. Our oldest is 2 1/2 years old, our youngest is 1 1/2, oldest is a boy, youngest is a girl. Both children were pretty severely affected by drugs in utero, with the oldest being exposed to methamphetamines, cocaine, heroin, crack, marijuana, and tobacco, while the youngest was limited to marijuana, tobacco, alcohol, and small amounts of methamphetamines. Our youngest has been diagnosed with later stage Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (none to limited physical deformities, slight to moderate cognitive and motor delays) as a result of her exposure, confirmed by genetic testing. Both children are in occupational therapy, both are in speech therapy, both have been seen by infant mental health specialists.
Due to their exposure in utero, both have demonstrated Sensory Processing Disorder traits, and have been receiving occupational and physical therapy to assist them in developing around it. Up until fairly recently, both children were good nappers and good eaters. My oldest was a bit picky, but would eventually eat enough to make his parents happy. Within the last few months, however, that has changed. He now refuses to eat with any sort of regularity. He throws his food, cries, throws tantrums, or stubbornly refuses to eat until we let him out of his booster chair. It's no better in a traditional high chair, either, as he now has the ability to rock his chair to the point that he can tip it over. If we don't let him out of his chair, he is such a disruptive force at the table that he often derails the feeding of our youngest, as well, and this is intolerable, as both children are underweight according to the pediatric guidelines.
Even more recently he has started refusing to sleep. He used to be a great napper, who would go to bed and stay asleep for anywhere from two to four hours after his lunch, and then happily go to sleep at night at 7-7:30, and sleep until 7-8 AM. Now, he climbs out of his bed, over to the bedroom door, and screams through the door jamb and kicks the door sometimes for hours. The other night, he was at it until 1 AM, after being put down at 7 PM. I'm in the military and have the typical o-dark-30 wake up time, so such late night or early morning bedtimes are not sustainable, and I haven't gotten more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep any night over the past three months, including weekends, because his mornings start at 6 AM. My wife, who works from home has less extreme, but still unacceptable amounts of sleep deprivation going for her.
We swaddle our toddlers, we have weighted sensory blankets, we have night time routines that are regular and soothing, we don't rile them up and then expect them to flip the sleep switch. We follow the guidelines and advice given on various parenting websites, and none of it works. I expect that hunger plays a part in him not sleeping, but I seriously cannot get him to eat. What he successfully eats today is thrown on the floor in a fit tomorrow, and I can't sustainably provide him with 37 choices for his every meal.
Please provide us with some suggestions, we have reached the end of our rope! Thanks.