08-19-2016, 06:22 PM
My wife and I, mid-fifties professionals, have 3 daughters and 1 son (19). I'm wondering if he has SPD. Our girls pretty much paint within the lines, and all have either graduated from college or are on a track to graduate from college. Normal issues aside, they seem happy and well-adjusted. Growing up, our son could best be described as a mix of Huckleberry Finn and Dennis The Menace. As a family, we've enjoyed a number of activities, from boating, fishing and water sports to snow skiing, tennis and golf. Our son has had issues in structured settings from very early on, and was ejected from preschool for biting almost all of his classmates. Both academic and behavioral issues followed him through six different mainstream schools and three alternative school settings, including a wilderness school for troubled youth and a quasi-military school. Along the way, he was suspended for fighting, disrespect and drugs. He ultimately earned a GED. His first court involvement was at age 14 for theft and possession of marijuana. As a young adult, he's been charged with alcohol violations, public affray, resisting arrest and larceny from a vehicle. None of this has caused him to believe that he has any drug, alcohol or mental health issues. While living in our home, he has stolen from other family members, intentionally damaged our property, threatened physical violence, failed in school, refused to get out of bed in the morning, refused to go to bed at night, repeatedly snuck out at night and stayed gone for hours or days, repeatedly consumed alcohol, marijuana and stimulants, kept his room a big, fat, unsanitary mess, failed to keep his mess from flowing into common areas of the house, and generally disrespected everyone in the family. My wife and I eagerly awaited his eighteenth birthday, so that we would no longer be required to allow him to live in our home. We've helped him secure jobs in two different states, one of which ended with him in legal trouble and homeless, and the other ending with him being terminated for fighting. When things go south for him, we've made what I consider to be a mistake by allowing him to move back into our home, effectively starting the cycle over. So as not to give the impression that we've sat idly by and watched all of this happen, please know that we've had our son subjected to psychological evaluations and counseling, drug and alcohol testing and counseling and involuntarily commitment. To make matters worse, he blames his mother and me for sending him to the Christian-based wilderness school (even though the only other option was that he would, likely, have been confined in a juvenile detention facility) and also blames us for his woes since we allowed him to be placed on Adderrall while in elementary school. He even has me believing that wasn't a great idea. I apologize if all of this seems harsh, but we're really getting to the end of our rope, and are frustrated with our seeming inability to help him. Any advice would be appreciated. Henry
I should've mentioned that he was tested back some time ago, and was determined to be of average intelligence, although his processing speed was calculated to be 1%, meaning that 99% of the population has a higher processing speed. I guess I may have just answered my own question.
I should've mentioned that he was tested back some time ago, and was determined to be of average intelligence, although his processing speed was calculated to be 1%, meaning that 99% of the population has a higher processing speed. I guess I may have just answered my own question.