SPD Support Forum

Please help. she is crying for help and nothing has worked as of yet. currently seeing a psychiatrist for eval but i don't know if acknowledges SPD and may be thinking ADD or bipolar bc of her rages BUT i know she is out of sync. I am starting OT for her and quitting CBT b/c i don't think it was working and the cbt not so knowledgeable about SPD. PLEASE tell me OT will work......she knows she is different and she cried and cried last night ot me about "I will never be normal or regualr like my classmates"........i'm a wreck

First, take a deep breath. Both of you, hold her tight, give her a big bear hug (if she likes them) and have you both calm down a bit.

Meltdowns are common amongst those of us with SPD. The thought is that in the AM your body starts out at a fairly good place. As the day goes on, and as each irritating sensation comes into the body, the body gets closer and closer to overloading. For some of us, that overload comes much quicker and easier than others. As we get older we learn to avoid or push aside annoying or irritating sensations, but the younger we are the harder it is to do so. Kids are much more prone to meltdowns because they don't know how to get away from the irritations, and they don't understand why they're different.

Help your daughter calm down by reassuring her that everyone is different and special in their own way, and she has her own talents that make her special as well. (List a couple of things that she likes to do and you know she's good at).

Her "Rages" are quite possibly just meltdowns- a built up combination stressful input that pushes you over the line and sends you spiraling out of control. Do you know whether she's sensory avoidant or seeking?

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/index.html This site here is also a treasure trove of information. Have her sit on your lap and talk about things with her- make her feel included. You're doing a great thing by trying to help her.

*hugs* OT does many wonderful things for a lot of people. It focuses mainly on the vestibular/proprioceptive systems- from what I've read, once those systems are out of whack, the rest of the body is off balanced too. (pun not intended ). Look up videos on youtube if you're curious, ask around, read people's success stories. There is hope, and you're on the right track.

For now, give your daughter a big hug and let her know how much she's loved and how special she is. For you, take a deep breath and realize that you're doing a wonderful thing to help your daughter out, and you're doing the best you can. Sometimes we all need a little reassurance.

Feel free to swing by the chat sometime, most of the time at least one person is around unless we're all asleep. Even then, we'll get back to you asap

Also, if you think she'd like to talk to another girl who's a bit older and has gone through what she feels, so that she can see everything will be alright, feel free to pop into the chat with her on your lap. I'll gladly talk with her (and you!) when I'm around. I'm good friends with a 10 year old boy and his 4 year old sister, and sometimes what helps them calm down is knowing someone is there to listen to them and tell them everything is alright.

thanks. over 2 yrs ago i dx her on that checklist and finding myself doign it again bc no one believed me. took her to a NP for an academic eval and no LD's (at age 6)--teachers don't know what i'm talking about and my family memebers think i am sick, making this up. but she smolders her issues all day and can't hide them quite well--works so hard....yes, at night she is irritable and an instigator--can't sleep and needs to be soothed to sleep. She is a compulsive squeezer (legs) in school and is being social outcast--so her anxieties are hig and she doesn't like when i leave her for work.....we are seeing a psychiatrist now for an eval and just did a ADD questionairre--she is not ADD in my opinion...a sensory seeker and slightly tactile defensive--seeks proprioceptive input with a tactile defensiveness---hard comination....won't want weighted blanket as she sleeps without top or blanket....she flies just under the radar and so nobody sees what i see...she cried and cried to me last night about not ever feeling normal. going to meeting in 15 minutes to see if ia can change my health ins so that OT can be covered...signle mom here......funds low...thanks.

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AND thanks. i will for sure, eventually have her chat with someone on my lap.....thanks for that

A weighted blanket made with soft material might be more help than you think, actually. I'm very tactile defensive, but also proprioceptive seeking (I agree, very hard combination!) and I love the weights on me. I find myself layering clothes and blankets to feel "safe" when I'm in bed, although some nights (like last night) I can't stand to have anything on me.

ADD shares some traits with SPD, but if you can soothe her by deep pressure and reducing the input around her to only what is comfortable, then you most likely have an SPD child more so than ADD, imo. I'm not a professional (yet ;o Going to college for it ) but I'm reciting info that I've read up upon.

Try video recording her throughout the day when she's at home, showing her 'good' days and then her meltdowns. Children, especially older ones, hide their feelings from those who they aren't comfortable with. They'll hide their meltdowns and insecurities from other adults, but let it loose in the comfort and safety of their own home knowing they have someone who believes them.

Keep us updated! I'll try my best to help.

Hi Jane,

i'm brand brand new here, but wanted to give you some hope: i spent nearly my whole childhood weeping because i was different, because i so desperately wanted "to be like the other kids". As an adult, i realize it's always been because i have SPD (though we didn't have a name for it then). All i knew was that i was terribly lonely. i've always been bad at "doing what i'm supposed to do" socially; i'm not great at reading common social cues and have always hated talking about the weather. i can't turn off the part of me that is FEELING-- sensing and emoting.
Somehow, i stuck it out through high school and when i was in first year university things got a better. i started to meet people who were more like me, and who weren't weirded out by my quirks. i met a group of wonderful women who helped me name my needs a bit better, and i met my now-husband, who helped me to find balance and be comfortable following through on my needs. Things will get better. Your kid is not a weirdo-- she is a wonderful, strong, capable person. You are not an inadequate parent. Stick with your instinct about what she needs-- you will find balance.

Re: Sila's comment: For me, having deep touch (my husband-- who is a bear of a man-- jokingly and affectionately calls them "autistic hugs") helps me feel more in control. Usually this works best in combination with a quiet space. i think public school must just be a nightmare for those two needs (fortunately, i was home schooled till high school), but if there's some way to get creative about those things it's worth testing it out.