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Full Version: People who don't understand -- Ugh!
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And my mom is one of them! She just told me that my son is just trying to push my buttons. I really don't think she believes it's real.

Just had to vent!
(((hugs))) I totally understand. I am currently undertaking the huge project of packing and preparing enough GFCF food so we can go out of town for the weekend to see DH's family. For my trouble I will get to hear lots of underhanded comments about how I really just need to find a better way to manipulate my DD to get her to do the things she's developmentally behind on. And then later they will gossip about the food I brought and how we think we're above everyone bringing our own food. Sigh...
We have had the same issues. When we told both sets of parents last week after the diagnosis, both sides brushed it off and something she would merely grow out of. Hang in there, at least your son has a mother who believes in him!
ditto for us as well. I am slowly trying to educate them by getting them to read around the subject and i hope it works ..
Thanks, everyone! Just got so frustrated with hearing that it's my fault for his anxiety and that his picky eating is because he wants to push my buttons. I needed some place to go where others understand!
(05-06-2011, 06:08 PM)LynnNBoys Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks, everyone! Just got so frustrated with hearing that it's my fault for his anxiety and that his picky eating is because he wants to push my buttons. I needed some place to go where others understand!

Hi,

If it is any help, I know it's not you or your son either. I didn't know I have this SPD thing until this year and I'm thity now. I hadn't a clue what it was until my psychologist told me I had it after getting me to do a questionaire thing of a few hundred questions.

It was only then I could look back and realise why I couldn't seem to understand myself growing up. Why everyone used to pick on me and tell me I was lazy, or being spiteful or nasty or attention seeking. I mean yes, kids do these kinds of things, but when people used to say those things to me it was never the right time. I couldn't help how I used to eat for instance, or the fact I couldn't dare eat mushroom soup because of the feel of the slimy mushrooms in my mouth. It used to make me want to vomit.

Same with certain lights, I went somewhere to go to the loo once and there was this purple light in there and it made me very ill and I run out of the toilet as fast as I could, same with the toilet flushing. I used to nearly breeak my neck to get away from the sound of it and people thought I was just being naughty and used to tell me off all the time.

I know for a fact how other people can be so judgemental and it does hurt, so, so much, but you and I know, so does everyone else here that it is real, that these things do cause problems for your son. Your son might not even understand it all, or be able to tell you whats wrong alot of the time, but I'm sure you've managed to talk with him and now he has some idea of how things are too, so he'll get there, and maybe one day he can explain to your Mam how things are/were for him.

I know it must hurt coming from your Mam too, she is supposed to care and understand things and be there no matter what, but Mams aren't there twenty four seven so it's kinda like her not knowing all the facts really in her mind no doubt.

I do hope you feel better soon though hon Smile
WOW!!! I don't feel SO ALONE anymore! My son has SPD and my mom and sister tell me that I am spoiling him (he is 9 months old!) and that "he has my number"!!!! How frustrating!!!! i need HELP and SUPPORT, not judgement! I am told constantly that I need to do more play pen time and just leave him alone more. That he is fussing because he is soooooo spoiled. We are starting him on gfcf diet as well too and my mom thinks we should just gradually start introducing milk products and "see how he does".... HUH? He has had sensitivity to this since he was born and since we have switched him to the gfcf formula neocate, we are finally seeing more focus from my son!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!! Some will just never understand Sad
I feel your pain EVERYDAY :/
I have several friends who TRY to be supportive but at the same time, I want to tell them to educate yourself then come talk to me. I know its hard for them to feel my frustration since they dont live in the same household and see it daily. I get sooo tired of hearing occassionally someone say, " I think she is just trying to see how far she can push you" R E A L L Y... I WANT to say- let me SEE HOW FAR I CAN PUSH U bahahaha
I know what you are going through. I am almost 29 years old and I've lived with SPD my whole life. Growing up, I never knew what it was. Even when I found out about SPD this last year, I kept telling myself that I was making excuses, that I really was just lazy, that I wasn't working hard enough to follow and contribute to instructions and conversations. I have only recently accepted that I have SPD and that it is the source of most of my problems growing up and still today. But I am still getting minimal support from family and friends. My mom, my sister, and one friend believe and support me; my father, brothers, and everyone else think I am just making excuses.

Of course, I shouldn't be surprised. My sister was born with mild to moderate hearing loss, and the doctors have always told us that her hearing loss is and will continue to get worse. Her latest audiogram shows that her hearing loss is now moderately-severe to profound. However, my father, brothers, and most everyone else don't believe that she is deaf, that she can't communicate with speech anymore, that she can't use the phone. And deafness is a lot more well-known and understood than SPD.
YAY!! Finally, I have found a place that understands that my daughter isn't just being a "Drama Queen". I to understand what it is like to have family memebers that just don't get it. My grandparents raised me and my daughter and her are VERY close but, we have had to really limit the time they spend together because my grandmother refuses to except that anything is wrong with MC(just diagnosed with SPD). Hang in there I know it is frustrating but take comfort in the fact that you are doing the best for your son.
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