My boyfriend definately has SPD, unfortunately went undiagnosed all his life. He is hyper, obsessive, sensitive to touch, etc... He was never given the tools to help himself . ANyway.... my question is as an adult ( I have a son with SPD) what do you do to get yourself to stop (as he puts it) "my mind NEVER stops going". He will go to bed at 8p or sometimes 7p so he can stop thinking. He is on anxiety meds, sleeping meds, and depression meds. For instance he lost his truck key two weeks ago, ( he has a spare) he cannot stop thinking about this key. Once he has something in his head he cannot get it out until he does it. I know this is how my son is, but he has had therapy and it is easier to redirect him. I can't imangine not being able to just let something go! WHat are some statigies he can use to help him being a 50 year old man. ANy help?!?!?!?!?
Hi Heather40. Does he like any mind numbing activities? Such as computer games? I have SPD too. When I find myself not able to let go of thoughts I will either blast loud music that I love, or I will play something that takes a lot of quick, and/or thorough thought. It works for my 12yr old too. PS3, Xbox, DS, computer. I have lost myself on games like PC Bejeweled, PS3 skyrim, Xbox minecraft. For us (while limited) its the best, most effective way to break the thought pattern. When it comes to losing something - it may be difficult to let go - if you have not lost it in never never land, you know? Like if there are odds that you could figure out where you misplaced them - its hard to not keep trying to envision where you may have placed them. Nothing drives me more crazy than when I loose something - for instance - I have not been able to find my wedding rings (a nice diamond too) for over a year now. I have almost - NEVER lost anything. The few things I have lost in my lifetime - still bug me. With my rings - I know that I had them wrapped up and put somewhere, because they needed to go to a jeweler. My biggest fear is that they will accidentally get thrown out. If I lost keys - I would probably not stop looking(especially in my head) because I pride myself on never loosing things, and on my photo recall - which is way above normal. So to not be able to envision where I last saw something - is like a chink in my already limited armor. There is the security aspect of it too. You know - if someone else gets the keys....
As an adult, with SPD, ADHD, and more - I can relate to the mind never stopping - surprisingly - ADHD medications, can be of help with that, if you have ADHD. You would not think so, but it calms you - because you can finish a thought, and carry it through. I no longer take medication, and I cant focus on anything once again. I am only mentioning it - because he is on the other meds, and It was a surprising developement for me, about 5 years ago (when I was 37) at how things could get better when the right thing is helped. There are many meds, like wellbutrin, that are supposed to help depression, and ADHD. Just ideas - I am not an expert, but I am living it! eeek - I will keep thinking of what else can redirect the thoughts. It really depends on what things are mind/thought jolting for him. I am thinking of how I discovered this summer, that certain scents jolt me out of a full meltdown, and am using that as a tool (dishes,showering) stacey
Thanks! He loves watching old movies, I think that helps him. He was an ironworker and was hurt on teh job, the cornea (sp) of his eye eas sliced off, they tried to fix it but he only has 20% vision in that eye. He has a photographic memory, he can tell you who won what emmy in 1939 for what movie, etc... That is his favorite stuff are old movies. I try to do things taht pertian to that, gets him to slow down and talk about that stuff and not think of anything else.
I don't think he knew what was wrong with him until we got together becuase of my son. He has had a childhood full of behavior isues, trouble, etc. and it was he could not sit still , is impulsive, etc... There will be days when I will try to go hold his hand and he wil tell me I cannot tolerate to be touched right now. I think I can emphasize with him because of my son, he has never been able to keep a relationship, ours is the longest he has had and that is only 2 years! lol I look at him and think what if some day my son has these problems and has trouble with relationships, I hope someone will come around tha tcan understand him. I feel bad for both of them, I could not imangine having to deal with this on a daily basis. He will sometimes take muscle relaxers to get himself to slow down, but then he is like azombie, I told him he needs to find a way to regulate himself, to learn some coping skills since he was never taught. I know it has got to be hard, but I will help him and be there. I thank you so much for the information, my son has SPD but he can't really tell me how he feels yet or how to cope. Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!
Heather40, one thing that your son has in his favor (and this is major) is YOU! You are understanding that he has issues, even if you arent feeling them, and you are trying to help him. He will be able to develope coping skills, and know whats going on. That is a huge part of SPD - is knowing what it is, and how it affects you, having a voice. Then you know that your not crazy! Your boyfriend is lucky that you both found each other! It is hard for people to understand that this even exists - especially for adults! Just like you undertand him - because of your son, I understand my son, because of me!
What type of movies does he like - just curious - to see if I can think of anything relateable.
stacey
Thank you for saying that. OH I totally forgot!!!! He loves cand a cars! He bought a 69 Camaro which is in the process now of being re-done. I have never been so sick of hearing about a car in my life! Car show, car tv shows, car magazines, etc..... I made a shirt this weekend with rally stripes, headlights, a license plate! I told him I thought maybe if I dressed like a car you could redirect your attention! lol IT was funny, anyway... so the movies, well his favorite movie year is 1939, LOVES John Wayne and well... cars. ahhhhaha I was thinking of models, but he can't see and is too impatient . I asked him this weekend what is something he does that when he does it doesn't think of anything else... he goes why? ahhhha BUt , yes you guessed it, working on his car! So..... that is all the input I have for now. THanks for all your input !!!!!Have a great day!
Learning Breakthrough strengthened my attention so I can more easily turn my mind off. But it one year and seven months of Dore acheivement center to get that and learning breakthrough helps me keep it.