11-21-2012, 02:56 AM
11-22-2012, 11:50 PM
Holy Cow, I am so going to show this to my father.
Today is Thanksgiving. A horrible day for me, when it should be great.
I cannot handle noise. I hate the sound of cooking in the kitchen, things clacking and clanging, the dishwasher going, the vent fan going. All the people in the house talking, being close.
He has this clock, he LOVES clocks, I HATE them because of the tick. I took the clock off the wall in the kitchen, (by the way this has happend over and over and he doesn't get it.) and I put it on the floor in the office where I couldn't hear it. Because I totally cannot function in the room with that clock, it sends me insane. My clothes feel too tight, I feel too hot, I feel anxious, I cannot do anything and my anger shoots to an extreme level to where I just want to rip my skin off and smash things.
I also have an eating disorder, anorexia/bulimia, I've been in and out of inpatient treatment for this for years. It just makes food harder that I cannot stand the utensils and the sounds they make, or any other auditory stimuli while eating. Because eating alone is hard because it makes me feel big and my clothes too tight, and the stimulus of food in my stomach drives me insane.
All of this, on this day.. And having family over expecting me to act rational and be able to SIT and SOCIALIZE...
It's just too much.
He was pissed about the clock and called me all sorts of names and said I needed to get over it. He always says this. He knows about my problem and doctors/therapists have talked to him, and he just won't understand.
Today is Thanksgiving. A horrible day for me, when it should be great.
I cannot handle noise. I hate the sound of cooking in the kitchen, things clacking and clanging, the dishwasher going, the vent fan going. All the people in the house talking, being close.
He has this clock, he LOVES clocks, I HATE them because of the tick. I took the clock off the wall in the kitchen, (by the way this has happend over and over and he doesn't get it.) and I put it on the floor in the office where I couldn't hear it. Because I totally cannot function in the room with that clock, it sends me insane. My clothes feel too tight, I feel too hot, I feel anxious, I cannot do anything and my anger shoots to an extreme level to where I just want to rip my skin off and smash things.
I also have an eating disorder, anorexia/bulimia, I've been in and out of inpatient treatment for this for years. It just makes food harder that I cannot stand the utensils and the sounds they make, or any other auditory stimuli while eating. Because eating alone is hard because it makes me feel big and my clothes too tight, and the stimulus of food in my stomach drives me insane.
All of this, on this day.. And having family over expecting me to act rational and be able to SIT and SOCIALIZE...
It's just too much.
He was pissed about the clock and called me all sorts of names and said I needed to get over it. He always says this. He knows about my problem and doctors/therapists have talked to him, and he just won't understand.