My son's annual meeting is coming up next week June 9th. It's a little bit of a bigger deal because he's changing schools next fall. Going into 5th grade, which is considered middle school along with 6th grade. So it'll be his current teacher, special Ed, social worker, principal, and the new school's special ed, social worker, and I think his teacher for next year. Plus me. Hubby is out of town in Mexico for a business trip and will miss the meeting. I wish the timing of his trip was better.

I'm a bit nervous about the change of school. Transitions are so hard for him. But they have been good about it. The 4th grade class took a trip over to see the school and get a tour. He seemed better after that trip. We also have a game night at the new school, parents and students, to get used to it more.

I'm worried about the homework he'll have. We're working on getting him more independent with homework. He does well some nights and other nights he wants me or hubby to figuratively hold his hand through the whole thing.

Good luck Lynn. I remember how exhausting teacher meetings can be. Every time I went to school for my sons - parties, assemblies, conferences, events, random lunchs - it just wiped me out. Remember to take as good a care of yourself as you do your sons. (I know that's actually impossible, but do you best :-)

I had one son who had a melt down every time he had to do homework. I, of course, had no information at all about SPD back then. There was absolutely no way I could get him to do it without a huge struggle. We reasoned with him, tried to make games out of it, punished and bribed him in every possible way we could think of. I even took him to the park to do his homework there thinking a lighter atomosphere would help. Nothing. He managed to graduate in spite of it all. He's a plumber now and makes more money than his father and I combined.

Your son is so lucky to have your understanding and support.

Update: The meeting went very well! A little emotional. The current school social worker has been with Daegan for 5 years, since Kindergarten. She spent many many hours with him when he was in Kindergarten and 1st grade modeling behavior for him to learn how to interact with other kids, and then had weekly sessions with him since then. She is such a sweetheart. She had tears running down her cheeks saying how much she's going to miss Daegan and how the school won't feel the same without him. She still has the note he wrote to her in 1st grade, "I love you, Mrs. Hoon." Hearing her speak about him brought me to tears too! The special ed teacher had great things to say too. He's made a lot of progress with his writing and reading, two areas he has struggled with. He's reading at a mid-4th grade level--so not where he should be but much better than he was. And he's started to pick age-appropriate books on his own. He used to pick books way too easy for him. His teacher said how much he has grown out of his shell since the beginning of 3rd grade (has the same teacher for 1st-2nd and then another teacher for 3rd-4th), and how he's showing his sense of humor and personality much more. The principal had really nice things to say about him too.

He's going to continue to get services next year, not too many changes from this past school year. He'll have extra time for the mastery tests (CMTs), minimum of 25 sessions with the social worker (for the year), 4 hours a week with the special ed teacher. Next year they're going to have some study hall time in their school week, so luckily a lot of the special ed sessions can be during those times rather than take him out of class, or even in-class. He'll also have modified homework assignments, depending on how he's doing with it. This was a big relief for me. I'm most worried about how he'll handle the increase in homework for next year. They will all be given homework notebooks that they'll be responsible for writing their assignments in. I did talk to another mom who has a 5th grader now and she said that they do try ease all the students into the homework increase, but most everyone has it under control by Christmas break or so.

Once we know who his teacher will be for next year, I'm going to bring him over to the school again so he can visit his classroom. He has such anxiety about the unknown. The 4th graders did a tour of the new school in May and then we had a game night outside last week, so that has helped some. Then hopefully we can visit a few times over the summer to help ease his anxiety.

It's great to hear that your son graduated and is able to do well! It makes me feel better.

I'm so glad it went well. Sounds like a really great school with very caring professionals. Yes, change is difficult but having people you can count on makes it so much better. Knowing that someone knows what you're going through and will stand beside you with encouragement and widsom transforms something that would be impossible into an adventure. When you get on the other side of an adventure you have a memory of success. Those memories are the tools you bring with you into future adventures. The most helpful thing for me when it all feels like too much, is for someone who cares about me to remind me (specifically) of a past success. Daegan has added so many successes to his tool box, and so have you, Lynn. Yay Daegan! Yay Lynn! Great work! Get yourself a cookie, girlfriend :-)

Wow that is really great Lynne. It seems like your son will be well taken care. I love how the social worker was so attached to him and the feeling was mutual. That is your hope as a parent right to have people just fall in love with them so you know they are getting the best treatment. Congrats to him and you on the improvements he has made. Being a newbie to all of this I am shocked how many people are involved. Forgive my ignorance but is the social worker like an OT and what does the special Ed teacher do? (blushing really don't know) When you first started with all of this did they tell you what he needed or did you go in with what you wanted him to have. I have to probably do this in Sept. and I am getting nervous. I don't like transitions either LOL.
Lane that is so exciting to hear that your son graduated and is making good money. That is truly wonderful!

Just a quick thought on homework - we are trying a program called StudyMinder (downloaded from studyminder.com) for my son this year. we have it set up to launch when his computer (from cyber school) starts up, and it brings up his calendar and to-do list for the day, so he can refer to it as often as he needs to do. He gets very anxious about time/sequencing of events, and needs many reminders to get assignments finished - but is starting to resent being reminded by Mom. My hope is the automated reminders will prompt him without stressing him.

Lala, no worries. I was clueless in the beginning. It's been a learning process for me too.

The school social worker is like a psychologist. The school has a psychologist who works half the week and the social worker works half the week. The budget doesn't allow for full-time. So the social worker has been working on social skills with him since Kindergarten when his teacher expressed concern that he wasn't interacting with the other kids and he was still parallel playing. She showed him how to ask to play with other kids, how to be friends, how to ask for help if he needed it, etc. She came to the classroom, and he would have sessions in her office. She also formed a social skills group with a couple other kids in school who needed extra help socially.

Our school district also has an OT who works at all the schools where needed. She worked with him in 1st and 2nd grades. He was having meltdowns in the mornings when all the kids were coming in and putting away their backpacks, too overwhelming and too much noise. So they started having an aide bring him to the swings on the playground in the morning right after he got off the bus. By the time he got to the classroom, the kids were sitting in their places. Then he had motor breaks at a few times throughout the day, often right before times he needed to focus. Motor breaks were mini trampoline, punching bag, sitting scooter, wheelbarrows, swinging, etc. End of the day he had the same issues, so an aide came to get him and they'd read in the library or go out to the swings again.

The Special Ed (Education) teacher helps him academically. She tested him (I think at the end of 1st grade?) to see what areas he needed more help and figure out how he learns. He freezes like a deer in the headlights when there's a time limit, like for tests. He has a hard time learning or following directions if it's just given orally. He needs a visual aid too. I'm the same way, could never just listen to a lecture and take in the information, always had to read the information too, for it to stick. I can't take phone messages very well at all.



Over the the summer before 1st grade, he was evaluated for autism, but they said he didn't fit enough of the criteria. Kept searching for answers. School started a plan for him, including OT and motor breaks. As a freelance editor, I edited the revised edition of The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun. I realized that the activities they were doing at school were the same ones suggested in the book--and they were helping him. Since the book was for SPD, I looked up more about that and found the checklist. Had my aha moment when so much on the list fit him. So I brought him to an OT center and he was diagnosed with SPD (and later anxiety).

So the school came to me with things they wanted to set into place to help him. Of course I said yes! They were doing so much already before we even had a diagnosis. After I got the evaluation from the outside (not related to the school) OT center, I passed it along to his school so they'd have the specifics of his SPD. So the only things I came to them with were the SPD checklist and the OT evaluation. I kept in close contact with the social worker to let her know when we were having issues at home. My son relapsed a bit one time when hubby went away on a business trip. When his routine is disrupted, it often causes lots of meltdowns.

I was amazed at all the people involved as well! And they meet every 6 weeks to discuss every student in school who has a plan 504/IEP. They decide what is working and what isn't working, make changes when needed.

Marci, yes, my son is starting to not like Mom telling him what he needs to do all the time. I'll have check that program out!

Thanks so much Lynn for the breakdown. Your school district and school seem amazing. You are very fortunate to have things work so smoothly. That is so funny I just picked up the book out of sync child but I was going to buy the one you just said the out of sync child has fun.. Got the eval back so wanted to start reading up on everything

It is so funny how kids change and want that independence when they get older...

This year's meeting is coming up next week on the 7th! Getting antsy for it!

I cna't wait for the meeting! THe one I had last year in teh beginning of the year my son woke up with a fever that moring and when I called to cancel they said it was too late and had it without me and that is when they deceided he didn't nee OT anymore! They never wanted him to have it to begin with. My diretor of Sp. Ed is the WORST womanon the planet. She has the worst reputation in the surrounding towns and within the district. I want him to be pulled more for Social Worker and I am going to try and fight for the OT to be given back! Just burns my butt how they fight against you for what will help your child!