Tuttleturtle (I love turtles! my goal every summer is to rescue at least one off of a roadway! already happened this year!! lol) In desperation, a few summers ago, I searched, and found swimmer ones. They were awful, cheap and hurt to wear - but I would imagine that they have more comfortable ones for professional swimmers. Honestly, while I wish my senses were not so heightened all of the time, I cant handle "not" having them either (like nose plugs, or ear plugs) I find that the absence of my senses is just as anxiety provoking. I guess that is the PTSD at work. It feels like suddenly going blind to me, and I am in a state of panic then.
Amygdalia, I did by the sound screen, with fear that the "wobble" would be possible. Funny how that stuff always happens. I know that I often find myself feeling guilty for trying to help myself, only to have wasted the money ultimately, for reasons that others without SPD do not understand. Vacuums!! I have had a million - I want to vacuum - but it sends me over the edge in so many ways that I never fully understood. I literally thought that my mother must have beat the hell out of me with one or something. You know - to have such a melt down over one - seems over the top, when you have a friend that vacuums her house everday. Then I learned of my SPD. I have had so many issues with fans, air purifiers, air conditioners, - omg - you name it. I Curse the people that made TV volumes flux with commercials! I curse surround sound massively. This is a thing that my husband wishes he could use - I thought (5 years ago) that, being the electronic savy one, I would hook it up for him. I got it to work, much to my horror. Luckily - he cant figure out how to work it himself! Its now just a big eye sore in my living room, that I am (daily) trying to figure out how to dispose of!!!
I seriously researched SPD about 3 years ago, read all I could - knew it was me 100% - but still denied it and put it away for years. Recently I began reaching out - especially after the biggest fail of an attempt to vacation with my husband and kids for 3 days. It was a complete disaster for me. But the hardest - always - is the roll of the eyes from your significant other. Second is the lack of effort you would hope they would put in, to try to understand your real condition. I gave my husband my book (too loud, too bright, too fast, too tight) and told him that bent pages, highlights, and underscores - were made 3 years ago. If he cared much anymore - he should read it, and try to understand what I am going through. He literally asked if the magic switch would be in this book to change me. Then explained to me that, he tried to understand 15 different diagnosis in the last 15 years (of our 20yrs) - in HIS opinion for nothing - which is a bunch of &*%. I understand a frustration level of others, but I cant comprehend the lack of empathy in my own husband. My boys, have been far more understanding - because they have been there, with me, and he is a mere visitor.(meaning he works a lot, in his own business - the true love of his life) No disrespect to him, but when my kids get it, and he doesnt, what can I say??? There is a lack of empathy to my struggles - which makes me feel very alone in it. I am glad to have reached out (finally) on a site, that other adults understand.
I believe that my youngest has SPD too. I am very happy that I have always had the ability to read his emotions and properly help him - even though I had no idea there were disorders at play. Reading posts and articles on here are of such value to me, its been a lonely, scary world, but it helps to know I am not the only one.
Have you always had a severe level or is it becoming more severe?? I have always had it, but it was not until 2008 that it skyrocketed for me (unbearably) and just in the last 2 years - going off of all meds, and in the last 6 months - not drinking a drop. The full scale of my situation is forcing me to acknowlege it. Thats a start. I give myself props for managing life for so long, and having the most amazing children, and such wonderful relashionships with them, they let me know how special our bonds are. So how lucky I am to have the ability to relate to them on all levels, probably because of the need to do that my whole life - to survive. Not everyone can claim that!
Sorry this is so long! But it feels nice to communicate with others! And hopefully makes other know they are not alone either!