We've had the same problems with the meltdowns. My son is 4 and 1/2. It is very hard to tell if it is a meltdown because of some sensory issue or just not getting his way. My son used to say the same thing about being scared. He has some sleep problems still but at first would say he is afraid of the dark but wouldn't let me put in a second nightlight so then we would have a tantrum but I would stick to my guns and say if you are afraid of the dark you would let me put in another night light. I found with my son I used to give in a lot just to avoid a meltdown but once I stopped that and did not give in, say to candy first thing in the morning, and let the tantrum happen (I would put him in time out when that happened), I started to be able to tell if it was defiance or some sensory issue (unknown to me but for him a problem). I have to say that his tantrums have gotten better since we started OT (less frequent and easier to come out of). For example, today at OT he noticed a hole in his sock, usually a huge deal. He put his shoes back on and we left with no incidence. He didn't even mess with the sock until about 2 hours later and then only moved the hole so his big toe wouldn't stick through then put his boot back on. He left the holey sock on until bedtime. Before OT, he would have had a meltdown right there and probably the whole way home until I changed his socks. But we too are starting therapy with an outpatient therapist and wraparound (a behavior specialist will come to our home). I'm not sure he needs both but I'll take whatever help I can get plus OT recommended the wraparound services and the psychologist we saw for the psych eval recommended outpatient therapy. The OT is helping his sensory issues but he still has resistance to change/routine, sleep problems, and is not potty trained. He was diagnosed with anxiety disorder NOS because of the anxiety over sensory issues (he overeacts to stimuli) and especilly in new situations.