I agree with you, while I don't think labels are helpful in terms of people defining themselves by a label, I do think it goes a long way to getting the help you need.

My sister is in the UK and her son has Aspergers. She says it took 18months to get the diagnosis... I don't mean this in a bad way, I just want to try say you may need to try be patient while they sort your referrals and get you in to see the right kind of people... Hang in there - you will get there.

If you can, try get some of the great books that are available - Out of sync child, sensational kids, etc. They are sure to offer you some insight into at least some of his behaviour and might be able to guide you in which things will be most helpful to him while you wait for a diagnosis.

Do you have a gym or play area nearby where they would let him jump on a trampoline? It is great for them as it gives a lot of proprioceptive input.

I had to send my 6 year old to school this morning in CNS shut-down - he wasn't even registering half of what I said to him. The light in his eyes isn't quite there... And knowing his teacher will treat him as though he's just being naughty just breaks my heart. Some days I feel like this is just hopeless.