Sila
Forum Moderator
Posts: 115
Joined: Oct 2010
|
Coping with school of any level...
...is difficult. I don't know how others handle it, but I struggle every day all day to do some of the simplest of tasks that should be easy for the normal person.
I'm in college. Day starts off by riding the public transportation (bus) to school and walking down the road to the campus. Loud noises, beeps, high pitched sounds and all the stops and starts when I'm half awake really get me uncomfortable. Then I'm at college itself...Small building, lots of people. Lots of noise, bright lights, unfamiliar everything. I hate steps and I hate the elevator, but I have to go upstairs and downstairs at least 4 times a day. I use both hands to brace myself going down the stairs, sometimes when no one is looking I get down on all fours.
I have only two classes, because I knew that I'd get stressed with more.
As it is, I'm spending over 3 hours a day in the school computer lab, which thankfully isn't that bad because I'm given headphones and internet to block other things out.
Math class, my first class, is difficult. Not really the material, but how I get that material itself is hard. I've always got my head down on my arm, even if I'm writing and taking notes. Not that I'm tired, just my head always feels heavy or floating even.
Then computer lab for 3 hours, upstairs. I tend to drift in and out of focusing on my work during those three hours unless I'm working on hard math work. But it isn't so bad overall, it's quiet but not too quiet, and I've got music on loud enough to keep me going.
Then english, which is very annoying. I have a speech problem I believe, because I stutter and slur and stumble over my words easily- even if I know what word I'm trying to say, and how to say it. I can't get it out half the time. I also have trouble controlling the tone of my voice, and the volume level. I end up yelling without meaning to, or sounding really monotone when I'm excited. My grade is partially based on class participation, so I can't escape not speaking. >.< I usually leave English exhausted, frustrated and upset. but then I get to go home, where I can unwind. I usually have to strip of everything but under clothes, because my skin feels like it's on fire by then.
The only way I can cope lately is just knowing that I can go home after my two classes. Sometimes I try to draw while I'm in class, to keep my mind off of everything, but I can't focus on class while I'm drawing. I'm kinda at a standstill. This semester ends next week, but I need to take more classes next semester. I don't know if I'll be able to handle it though?
Does anyone have any suggestions, or any experiences with school that they can share? I've been out of school for 2 years, the beginning transition was rough but I feel like I'm still going through it.
<Mako>I see one sila caring loving girl whos a lil shy + scared on the inside but has a giant heart ^-^
--
Highly suspected/Being evaluated for: ADHD & Autism.
Also have SPD, GAD, and an annoying speech impediment.
|
|
10-14-2010, 06:24 PM |
|