Let me guess. It goes something like this... if someone touches you unexpectedly, you flinch. When intimacy is involved, things can go south rather quickly with what might seem an innocuous touch to someone else. And when you get overwhelmed, you may get angry very quickly and unexpectedly, and the other person has no idea why.

Believe me, there are people out there who, while they might not understand, are willing to be accepting. My husband has freely admitted that he does not understand why, when he comes from behind to put his arms around me, I flinch. He has gotten very good at "stopping the presses" when something happens intimately that frightens or upsets me. And if I am suddenly being irrationally angry or upset for no seeming reason, he has his ways to get through to me and help me through it. I know that I have a great gift in him. But I also know that there are many more people in the world who are good, wonderful people who would be willing to accept my idiosyncrasies and yours. That's because even though ours may seem a big deal and often are, everyone has things that are their own issues. I don't want to push you one way or another towards a relationship decision; that is far too big a decision for a total stranger to pretend they have the answer to. But don't let the thought that someone might not want to "put up" with you make you chuck the whole idea out the window. Believe me, I was firmly single for over ten years before my husband found me. Yeah, he pushed his way into my little insular life without my permission. lol Believe me, I'm glad he did.

Tips? Well, I know a lot of people whose problems are primarily tactile get good results from the Wilbarger Protocol, sometimes just called brushing, but that is something you'd have to learn from an OT. I have a lot of luck with rolling and bouncing on a therapy ball. They are relatively inexpensive, don't take up a lot of room, and can double as a chair or an exercise device. I find that the deep pressure I get from rolling on it helps me calm down. Since I'm also very sensitive to sound, I find driving very stressful. I often wear ear buds (the kind that go in the ear, not sit outside it), whether I play music or not. Bouncing on a trampoline helps some, but since I have stability issues, that's not really my thing. You might enjoy it, though. Many people swear by weighted blankets or vests. I have to have very firm pillows, or I constantly feel like I'll roll off them. If you have eye sensitivities, some sunglasses can be very helpful, or even Irlen lenses if you have serious eye difficulties or reading issues.

My biggest suggestion, though, is to look around, see some "lists" of things that people use to help themselves. Some things work better for some folks than others, mostly because there is such a wide variance in each person's amount of sensitivity or lack thereof. Don't be afraid to try one thing at a time and, if you see no improvement, give it up and try something else. A therapy ball is a pretty basic one that almost everyone has, but you might find something else you like better. Be willing to experiment. Even OT's sometimes have to try a few things before they can really peg what works best for you. Believe me, the relief you feel when your body is getting the necessary input to let go a bit is well worth that time and effort.