(10-19-2010, 11:38 AM)Dan Wrote: Hello wishIhadknown, and welcome to SPD International .

(10-19-2010, 11:01 AM)wishIhadknown Wrote: And so I come to you seeking a community who understand why I cringe when someone lightly touches my skin, or lose it after a stressful day and my kids are in my face... when light, sound, fast movement irritates me... I go have me time in nature, in the park, or in the tub.

And I think you have found the right community!
You cringe when someone lightly touches your skin (as do I, or worse, lol) because you have tactile defensiveness and you have an intense, unusual reaction to this stimuli. It is physically aggravating.

You loose it at the end of a stressful day because all of us sensory defensives do. Our systems, as poorly adjusted as they are, can only handle so much before it's too late and a meltdown becomes imminent. I loose it after work shifts and classes a lot, myself. I certainly understand.

Quote:I want to understand why my daughter shy's away and yells OWIE when someone takes her by the hand or hugs her unannounced. Why she rubs textured objects across her feet and palms and face. Why she too has meltdowns.

And I think you can learn these things here, if you aren't already aware. Your daughter shies away and yells in these situations because she too is tactile defensive. Taking her by the hand, unless it's firm touch, can certainly be a cause for discomfort and alarm. The unexpected hug can have the same effect, serving as a sudden alarm, triggering a fight of flight reaction. As you may have figured, her meltdown are also similar to why you have meltdowns - overload to the breaking point.

She rubs certain texture objects across her feet, palms, and face as a form of sensory seeking, most likely. Again, this ties into the tactile sense. Your daughter craves these textures, so she surrounds herself in them as they help her to calm and regulate.


Well, I hope you are able to find all the answers and support you need here . I am glad to see you on. Care to share a bit more about yourself and any interests you may have? Hey, we can get to know each other here too. I want this to be a place for people to find each other and start up supportive friendships, which is a form of therapy in itself. Take care .

Thank you Dan,

Hmmm... more about myself...

I am engineer and scientist by training. Sculptor, writer, photographer by hobby. My parents always told me I was overreacting, emotional, and to keep my "issues" to myself. I thought I was nuts, or there was something "wrong" with me. I squashed it down inside myself, becoming very introverted through high school. In college, I forced myself to become an extrovert. But I still didn't like people touching me, or standing to close, I don't like hugs ect. I've been like this for awhile, not understand why.

Only know that my daughter was having trouble communicating... do I see.

I guess it is best shown in two poems I have written.

Outcry, 2010

I try to make you hear my words
To see the things I need.
Yet, frustration erupts from within
Why don’t you understand me?

You take my hand to guide my way
I flail, kick, and scream.
You pick me up and hug me,
Sometimes I bite until you bleed.

Kids are playing, but without me.
I run to hide, shy away.
What do I want? Why don’t you see?
I want to dance and play, but lack the means.

Mommy, I see you cry. Why do you weep?
I brush away your tears, kiss your cheek.
With my smile, bright green eyes
Kisses, cuddles, giggles given freely.

What do I want? How do I feel?
The words, the actions fail me
Frustration, My outcry; in my eyes a plea
Means to communicate is what I need.

A.J., 2010

Epiphany, 2010

I had an epiphany today,
I can not believe it’s true
I learned a name in seeking answers,
For what I think is affecting you.

For why, with the lightest touch,
You cry, scream, yell in pain.
With hugs and kisses unannounced,
You cringe, rub your skin in vain.

Water you love, to sink and swim,
Yet, to pour it over your is very bad.
Why every seam, string, or tag;
Works together to drive you mad.

Children play, laugh, and giggle;
Your ears you cover and shy away.
Yet, you love to dance, jump, and wiggle;
A bright smile reflected in your eyes.

Little daredevil you’ve no fear of heights,
A climber, jumper, problem-solver
Yet, in the night you sleep with lights;
Blankets pulled ‘round you tight

My darling girl, I think I know now what is affecting you;
Knowledge I’ve sought, yet questions linger.
Grief I’ve felt for many months, it’s sad but true;
As I clawed for knowledge, answers to fill your needs

Squiggy, I’ve found us answers
And I know I can help you through.
Today, I have had an epiphany,
Your mommy is just like you.

A.J., 2010

My son has ADHD and is a cancer survivor. So I am finding this rather difficult to come to terms with and discuss with others. I get kind of overwhelmed when I think about things.