I am a stay at home mother of two children, a 13.5 year old daughter and a 23 month old son.

I have read about SPD, and I am convinced that my son needs to be evaluated for SPD after completing the checklist. My husband does not agree that anything is not average.

I first thought my son might have a form of autism (my husband's brother has autism and until the last few days i had never heard of SPD) However when i read some of the symptoms of SPD, I thought, "that's it, that's my son in words!"

My son had trouble nursing right from the very start. Then, as he progressed to baby food, he would gag and choke, and often throw up what he had eaten. I soon had to resort to feeding him with a medicine dropper to get anything in him beyond breastmilk. he did ok until I had to wean him at 19 months due to my own serious health conditions. Then his weight began to plummet and alltogether, he has gone from the 98th percentile at birth to around the 25th.

My son screams and fights diaper changes to the point where he has injured himself. Hw almost never leaves clothes on and strips to nothing if I do manage to get him dressed. He is exceptionally affectionate with me and had SEVERE separation anxiety. He can count to ten and spell words at 23 moths, but won't point to body parts, let me read him a story, or engage in back and forth talking or even babbling.

It takes as long as a half hour to put him in his car seat, but sometimes he screams to go bye bye for an hour just because he wants to go somewhere. When we do go out, i have to let him keep his face buried in my chest and cover his open ear to avoid a meltdown. these tantrums are not your normal ones. He gave me a black eye in one and they will last a. for hours or b. until i can find a completely quiet place and sway him back and forth. if there is no quiet place, he will scream for an hour or more.

He gets upset when you use the microwave, garbage disposal, vacuum(unlelss you let him use it himself, then he's fine) dryer, and especially the hair dryer or blender. He will bang his head on a door until you open it, and he has left bruises on his head. He constantly runs and falls A LOT. he has all sorts of marks on him, to the point where i sometimes fear I will be turned in for child abuse even though i would never harm him.

but the very worst times are any sort of gathering, even at our house, but especially in public places. he literally screams the entire time, unless there is music, which calms him, but only if he gets to dance to it.

I really want to have him evaluated, but my husband feels I am overreacting to normal terrible twos behavior. I have sought advice from everyone i know, but the best advice i got was time outs ( which actually work, but only if you walk out of the room.) the most common advice i receive is that i am lax on discipline or need to spank him. but i give my kids steady, loving discipline. I dont let them get away with everything, nor do i yell or strike them. Before my son was born, people told me they wanted to be a mom like me. Now they see us coming and avoid me.

So i guess what I am looking for is:
a. if this sounds like SPD and if so,
b. how do I convince my husband to get an evaluation, and where do I start?

Thats about all. and thank you.