thankyou for your replies.

((beck7422))
i am the same with deep pressure, i love having the dogs lie on me, it makes me feel good and safe. i've yet to meet anyone and have a discussion about SPD.
when i was little i used to like getting my brother or sister to stand on me or being under sofa cushions and having one of them sit on the cushions.
i am pretty bad socially, i find it extremely anxiety provoking and confusing. i agree with you on socialising via interests. i am fascinated by psychology and science connected to brains, i also love reading and rats. i find the internet has probably been the most important social tool for me because it's allowed me to have social contact. without it i would have been even more of a recluse than i already am.

((LynnNBoys)) thankyou. i hope my parents will be, they have said that for years they felt it was something. it's always been known as autistic traits by my parents. my T says i don't have autism but i suspect that had i been born male i would have been diagnosed with asperger's instead of the diagnosis i have of a mixed personality disorder (combination of BPD and avoidant). it's been a huge relief to start to realise that a lot of the things that i see as me being a bad child may have been me as a child with SPD. hopefully i can begin to build a life now.