Who is caring for the infant? Doing the feeding, burping, diapering, etc?

I'll be bluntly honest and say I found your posts about the baby rather concerning, concerning for the child's physical and mental well-being. Your first post above makes it sound like you are so reactive as to be unsafe around the infant - you talk about "have lost all my previous coping skills" - please get professional help for your child and yourself immediately. Start with your GYN - ask for support services for new mothers. Find a psychologist/neurologist who could refer you to an OT with expertise in desensitization issues. Talk to a doctor about the anxiety issues.

Infants need and deserve to be with people who can bond with them in order for them to develope attachment "skills" that the child will need throughout its life. Every new mother experiences stress and exhaustion, but if your SPD issues won't let you get past the baby's basic bodily functions to connect with child, please find a caregiver for the child who can meet the baby's needs and seek help for yourself.