I've been thinking about you since I read your post a couple of days ago. I feel for you and in some repsects understand. I never had children because I knew I couldn't take care of them properly. I throw up around any weird smell, and fecal matter and vomit is the worst. Crying would drive me insane and I would end up going crazy. Even now, I cannot clean toilets or the kitchen, and cannot cook food for the weird sensations I get that lead to anxiety, screaming and crying. Anyway, here are my thoughts and if they help, great. My mom wan't nearly as bad as I am, and she left a lot of the parenting to my father. He was a great father and did well by my sister and me. My mother was absent mentally and sometimes physically from my childhood. However, I love her dearly and understand why she left. My point is, if you cannot take care of your child without hurting your child or without undermining your sanity, maybe you should leave most of the parenting to your husband and parents. It could be safer for all around. My mom came back to our family when I was 15, when she could handle it. Although, I'm not saying to leave the house, but do what you can and then ask for help. But if you think you will hurt your child . . . Run for the hills!! From my childhood, I promise that it is better for you to be somewhat distant then damaging.

Some other thoughts, if you've done all the tests that Marci suggests and still have serious problems, I would recommend a low dose (0.25 mg) of Risperidone. It has worked wonders for me and my relationship with my husband. I'm calmer, more able to deal with my senses, and significantly less prone to anxiety. Also a SSRI might help. I know a lot of people want to stay natural, but I'm of the opinion, "Whatever helps". My SPD is so bad, that I have a hard time functioning at work and at home. Anyway, it's a thought.

I hope everything works out for you. I also hope that I haven't been too preachy or fear-mongering. I'm just scared for you and your child.

Keep us informed; I want to know how if goes and if you find someway to deal with this and get through it.