Hi Emma

I guess you have to pick your battles... birthdays are a social convention, there's no law that says anyone has to like them. One of my daughters went into a complete heap under the age of 5 about attention at birthdays and meeting new people. She's now very confident and chatty with people at 10, although she'll suddenly get really filthy if she doesn't like the attention she's getting. The important thing is that your son is not made to feel ashamed or embarrassed... small steps, test the waters and give him some control. As he gets older you can have a quiet chat when it's not a threatening time... maybe at the park one day when you're on your own together and having a good time you can talk about how people love birthdays because it gives them a reason to show someone how much they love them... planning for someone he loves who is having a birthday together can be an opportunity for that... I find ways to kind of drip feed ideas into their heads and talking about other people is safer than talking about them. I think being 4-5 is a very sensitive time, they're dealing with a lot of change... it's like the adolescence of early childhood really, they're not babies any more but they're not "big" yet, like a 7 year old is "big".

OTs are great but they aren't necessarily Mums or psychologists!

You and he will get there, don't worry!