Hi, I'm new to the forum and fear potty training my soon to be 3 year old SPD boy. Nice to hear that I'm in good company

We have not yet even started potty training... it would be far too soon, my boy is no where near ready. Rather I'm in the information gathering stage so when he's ready, I'm ready (or less un-ready).

I have a good friend with a 5.5 year old boy (not SPD) who has all sorts of accidents and is headed off to kindergarten later in the month. True, he has his own medical issues, etc. but it is easy to pick out areas to improve upon when you're viewing other people parent... so if I may pick out a possible area of improvement for my IRL friend it would be that they did not make him nearly responsible enough to own the whole process of potty training. I think that the suggestion of a plastic bin in the bathroom for messed up pants is a good one. Also, if your daughter can keep reasonably dry for 2 weeks at times, I would put my energy into going forward, not taking a break. I think you might be served well to just help your daughter know how to clean up the messes and perhaps she'll see that cleaning up the clothes, herself and the sofa is actually a ton of work... should she like to try harder to stay dry she can avoid that cleaning process. But since no one but she in in her head, it is really hard to know how best she learns to stay dry. Like does she forget? Can't feel her bladder is full? Can't get to the potty in time? Having a hard time with buttons? Does your daughter have motor planning issues? Maybe she really is having a hard time making a plan to physically go to the bathroom when it's time... and by the time she is getting her brain organized she has already had the accident.

I vote you make potty training a very neutral subject. You would then not be super happy when there is success, nor are you let down when there are failures. I think your daughter probably wants to be capable more than even you want her to be... so even the happy happy joy joy reaction to the good times might actually be a stress to continue to please you.

I'm sure you are doing a most wonderful job. Pat yourself on the back for dealing with a huge issue. I'd sit down with your daughter and tell her that she's a big girl and if she has an accident, you expect her to clean it up (and show the expectations... clothes in the bin, new pants on, dry up the floor, whatever) and then the only other talk about it is simple reminders, "did you get your wet clothes in the bin?" and a thank you...

You don't have a sticker chart or reward for putting one foot in front of another... and at one point she learned to walk. She'll learn to potty train too.

In the meantime a good vent always feels pretty darn good!
hugs!
Beth
mom to bryce (5) and chase (3)
one without, one with SPD. both perfect.