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My best friend's life needs to be unstuck
Author Message
DeathlyHallows45 Offline
Jedi Master

Posts: 3
Joined: Feb 2014
#1
My best friend's life needs to be unstuck

I'm Sarah and I am thrilled to have found this site. I've been searching for something like this for a long time. I didn't even know SPD was what I was dealing with until the end of last year. My best friend Devin and I live in Elizabeth, NJ, a train ride away from NYC. She has had sensory processing disorder all her life and so have I. Both of us were misdiagnosed. She is also very gifted. Due to "parents" who hardly tried to find her help or support her in any way, she has suffered greatly for years. If she would have gone through early intervention it would have been so much better. All she was ever diagnosed with was ADHD.

She never finished high school due to extreme difficulty in a regular school that just let her disappear under the radar instead of truly intervening. They treated her like she was just a bad kid that didn't try, not someone in need of a different kind of help. She is a Visual-spatial learner so any of the regular help that was given to her did not help at all. I managed to help her get good grades when she switched to online school in two classes using completely unconventional ways of teaching her the information but by then it was too late to catch her up all the way.

She's never been employed, no one has given her a chance. I pretty much have to translate to her what people are saying due to her auditory processing difficulties. People judge her for this and treat her like she is slow. She is the smartest, most gifted person I've ever met but regular people don't see that and never give her a chance. And the more time that goes by that she is without job experience, the smaller the chance that someone will give her a place in the working world. The more discouraged she feels. And there are so many things she want's to do, so many things she is talented at.

Even though I have it too, she is a more severe case so it is more urgent that she gets helped first. She is always bothered by smells that are extreme to her compared to others and it makes her miserable most of the time. She can hardly breathe sometimes and some smells make her physically sick. Wearing shirts is hard for her because she can't stand them touching her belly button. Sounds can be enough to make her violently angry like kids stomping on the floor over her head. Sunlight can make her sick and she has to wear sunglasses outside and in certain lights. She is a very picky eater. Sometimes she feels insomnia, sometimes narcolepsy, sleep is always an issue she can't control. She has trouble regulating emotions and it can make her very giddy or very down and dark. She has felt suicidal since she was 14. When her "mother" made her feel like she would never succeed in life.

I'm not sure how much longer she can hold on without any change in her life and I need to find help for her. She has so many ideas and is brilliantly talented, it would be such an extreme waste if the world lost her. Would occupational therapy be effective enough? Is there is any help out there for her? Are there support group meetings in New Jersey? Or people she can connect with. Is there is some way she can be given an opportunity to work by someone who won't take her auditory processing and other issues the wrong way? This can't be it for her. She was left behind as a child but there is no reason why she can't become a working member of society

She suffers so much from feeling like she will never be able to do what she wants in life. So many of her issues continuously limit her abilities and most people give her a hard time due to lack of understanding. Her issues have increased with intensity as she ages. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I've done a ton of research and I have been trying to develop a sensory diet for her to help take the edge off.

It's so great to know that at least we aren't alone anymore..
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light." Dumbledore
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rebekahrosewilson Offline
Account not Activated

Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2014
#2
RE: My best friend's life needs to be unstuck

Occupational therapy would definitely help!! It would help lessen the sensitivities and provide coping mechanisms and they'd probably be able to advise places where she can find work. I'm really passionate about the Deaf community, and many of them have similar difficulties--communication issues, lack of education, etc.--and there are so many opportunities for work for them, so there's definitely opportunities for your friend. It seems she'd need someplace without an overwhelming amount of human to human contact and someplace that's not sensory overwhelming, and does not require more than a high school diploma. I could doing filing at a business as something feasible. Postal service (which pays so well!!) honestly these are just two of many opportunities. There are empty meant advisor type resources that could be of help, as well. Don't loose hope!

Employment advisor*
(This post was last modified: 04-28-2014, 06:41 PM by rebekahrosewilson.)
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