This is a journey I never expected to take. We heard a speaker once, the mother of a handicapped child, say its like when you plan a vacation to Hawaii, and accidentally end up in Holland. Not that its all bad, it's just different than you expect and you really aren't prepared for it. My husband has commented about our son a few times now, "It's like we went to Holland."

As the 4th child we could see pretty quickly that Fish (code name, get it) was different. At 18 months he had no words, and only one real consonant. He was climbing everything, crawling with his head rubbing on the carpet, and putting his ear up to all the machines in our house. He could run, but he couldn't feed himself with a spoon, or drink out of a cup without aspirating. He's a total flirt, so Doc ruled out Autism right off.

Visits to the audiologist and ENT confirmed he could hear, but eventually he got eartubes that drained some extra thick fluid. So he started to babble a bit, but other weird behaviors continued: hitting himself on the head purposefully, biting and pinching everyone. We noticed how he didn't seem to feel pain like other kids too . . . like even with his fingers stuck in a door . . . or while leaving blood stains on the carpet from broken toenails!

Luckily our speech therapist has a son with sensory issues and she started recognizing the symptoms. My husband is also in a Physical Therapy program currently and SPD was lectured on in his graduate class, so he started talking about it. We had an OT come to evaluate and within 20 minutes hangin with Fish she said, "You have a total sensory seeker here."

I can't keep him occupied! He runs all 5 of us ragged trying to keep him satisfied and safe. My other kids are 10, 8, and 6 and they all take turns playing with Fish, mostly chasing him or swinging him. I made him a back pack to slow him down a bit, but he doesn't keep it on long. His fingers still won't do many fine motor things, so many toys he just throws (to get the big bang) instead of playing as its intended.

He's broken so many things in our home, cracked his skull open, burned himself, etc. At 27 months old he will just leap from the couch like its nothing.

I'm worried that I don't have more loving feelings for him because its so tiring. My other kids have made comments too, like, "I wish we didn't have another baby." I tell them that I know they love him and that it will get easier. For now, its hard. But he sure is cute!!

I feel for you I have a sensory seeker too. I'm also looking into him having dyspraxia and obsessive compulsive. Every day becomes a struggle for us too. I have 2 others but there all pretty much the same age (a twin and younger brother) he does feel pain though. My boy is loud constantly like there is no let up. His hearing is fine but he can't control the volume get he doesn't like really loud noises. He also breaks a lot of stuff both his and ours. He touches the floor constantly. Yesterday they broke up from school (he is 6) he touched the floor well over 150 times in 30 minutes. It drives me mad. Yet he is the most loving Caring person I know. Were still struggling through too x