Hi Guys,

My boyfriend and I are on the cusp of engagement (aka He's picking up the ring this weekend, as far as I can tell) - a big YAY from the romantic, happiness side of this gal, and a big EEP from the sensory side. I know I'm planning ahead, but I keep thinking about the challenges a wedding poses for someone with SPD, and feel like it's never too soon to find answers. (I know we have a semi-related post in this category, but I hope we can flesh it out more here!)

I'm very auditory and visually sensitive, and my proprioceptive sense makes me feel like I'm "falling out of the room" (a phrase I used in childhood, before they knew what was wrong with me). How will I plan a wedding where the groom wants music, dancing, and merriment? I'd be happiest sitting quietly just us two. We're already making pre-plans, and we're figuring about 100 guests - which means 100 bodies spinning around the room, with music to guide them. It's also going to be a Jewish wedding, so I'm trying to weave my way around a Hora, a nightmare of a dance where the music is loud and fast, and people spin while lifting the couple in chairs (AAAAH!)

So . . . all of you married SPD folk: how did you deal with unnatural light, movement, visual issues? How did you reconcile music, especially with a partner who's understanding, "but wants a par-tayyy." Where the hell can I find a super-comfy non-threatening wedding dress? And how, really, can I make it through this day without freaking out? (We're over a year away - and any day till the engagement - and already I'm thinking about how I'll "handle" it all!)

Rachel

My husband and I had to compromise. We actually had two different receptions. One reception was in a very close, very intimate bed and breakfast with food, very classy, no alcohol (for my stepmother's family). The second reception, at a family member's house, was loud and alcoholic and cook-out-y. The nice thing about the second reception thing was that I could disappear as I needed. Fortunately, I didn't have to. I was so excited and happy about everything, I really needed very little down time. I know that my SPD symptoms are not nearly as problematic as some folks, though, so your mileage may vary.