Hello all,
Over the last year, I have been posting to various parenting forums about some struggles I've had with my child. Over and over commenters have mentioned SPD. When I looked up the traits, both me and my son have very strong over-reacting SPD traits.
My whole life I wondered what was wrong with me. Now I have a name for it. It makes me very sad that my son is going to have to deal with this as well
I feel like I manage my whole life around it.
I have ADHD and PTSD, so I always thought my sensitivities were just related to these. However, my son does not have PTSD and doesn't seem to have ADHD either, but he has almost the exact same sensitivities.
I get easily overwhelmed by auditory stuff. I cannot think with noise. If there is enough constant noise, I feel like I cannot breathe and I panic. Nightclubs and even small and tame concerts have given me consistent panic attacks. I am a very picky eater... food just freaks me out in general. If I could just never eat again, that would be great. The food I can tolerate (that does not panic me) tends to be processed. That bugs the heck out of me, but it a reality that I have to deal with. I have tried to force myself to eat better many times. Invariably these efforts blow up in my face.... I panic... I get ill... I get overwhelmed... I end up neck deep in a pile of chocolate bars. It's awful. I try to avoid crowds. Crowds scare the heck out of me... malls and big box stores like Target suck the life out of me.
My son is the pickiest eater I have ever seen. He is more freaked out by food than I am and his diet is even more limited. Like me, he tolerates very plain food and it has to be served the exact same way every time. The temperature and the texture must be the same every single time or he won't eat it and he may even panic. God forbid there is a tag in his shirt or the tiniest amount of sand in his shoe. It must be fixed immediately or he will tantrum. The daily routine must be done in the same order and in the same way every single time. If we deviate, there will be drama. It takes him a long time to adjust to changes in the routine. He freaks out over getting slightly wet. If he gets fully wet, it's okay (like a bath), but slight dampness (like a water droplet on his sippy cup) is panic inducing for him.
I know that 3 year-olds can just be like this, but this seems to be more than any of the other parents in our multiple playgroups are dealing with. It is hard for me to figure out which eccentricities are normal 3 year-old territory and which might be SPD related.
I have a psychologist who evaluates for Autism and says that neither me or my son are Autistic. I've had previous therapists and psychiatrists that also assured me that I do not have Autism, but I am very sensitive to sensory stimulation. I feel like I spend most of my energy and time trying to keep myself from panicking , because (like my son) if things change to much I will panic. I am fully aware how silly it is to panic because I didn't take out the garbage before 8am, but I can't control it either. I feel like a prisoner to my sensitivities and my anxiety about setting them off.
I have 2 children... a 3 year old and a 1 year old. My 1 year old has some sensitivities as well, but it (as yet) doesn't seem as bad as me or my son's. I cannot express how difficult it is to manage both my own sensitivities and the sensitivities of my son at the same time.
My 1 year-old is currently teething right now and crying/screaming a lot from the pain of cutting new molars. This has overwhelmed both me and my son to the point that some days are utter hell between the miserable baby and me and my son both feeling completely overwhelmed from the loud noises.
Most of the time I feel like we can just manage fairly well... but it's been a few weeks now (since these molars started) where I feel like I am barely coping.
If anyone has any book recommendations to shoot my way, I would really appreciate it. This is a new topic to me and I feel like I really need more information to help me cope so I can be a better mother and teach my son to cope better as well.
Right now, I just feel completely overwhelmed.
