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Assessment tommorow, accused of emotionally abusive parenting!!
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Gemma Offline
Newbie

Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2011
#1
Assessment tommorow, accused of emotionally abusive parenting!!

1. What brings you here?
My 7 year old daughter, Morgan whom I believe to have been misunderstood for her whole life and now am being accused of emotionally abusive parenting, as it's a "family dynamic" problem although there is NO evidence of that. We have an OT assessment tommorow and i'm nervous!
3. Share a little of your journey if you'd like.
Morgan was very hard to settle when she was a baby,
She used to scream for hours with nothing working to settle her even the very night she was born she didn't settle.
Morgan slept very poorly; we used to have to walk her all night in her pram to get her to sleep for an hour,
In the end we just did 12 hour shifts so there was always someone there to look after her. She had to be put to bed completely asleep
Morgan started solids at 4 months old and seemed to accept them but be a little fussy on tastes and textures.
She refused lumps until 12 months old, gagging and rejecting them.
Morgan crawled at 6 months, pulled up at 7 months and walked at 10 months.
Around 12 months old Morgan started chewing on her cot bed, within a couple of months she has removed a chunk 2 inches by 4 inches wide of solid wood.
Any attempts to repair it would lead to Morgan eating the repair i.e. wood filler, varnish etc.
Around 18 months Morgan started ripping wallpaper from the wall and carpet up from the floor to eat. She began tip-toe walking & didn't stop till she was around 5.
Baths became very difficult and Morgan screamed throughout and tried to get out of the bath, we now bathe at a minimal to avoid this but still get it every time. She was accepting food at around a 10 month level.
Around 2 it became clear that Morgan had a speech delay and was very frequently falling over. She was covered in bruises.
Morgan had speech therapy and that seemed to improve it a little. Morgan started eating or chewing everything she had access to and regularly broke toys and household objects whilst doing so. Morgan would be determined to reach something if she wanted to eat it, defying the usual routes of safe guarding i.e. safety gates, plug sockets, locks etc...
She started spitting on everything. Walls, hair, floors and everything she chewed. She started eating window sills, floor tiles, paint, plaster, wood, spitting in Lego and plug sockets, licking metal and even experimenting with her own faeces.
Morgan felt the need to touch everything continuously despite being redirected, as a result it was exhausting and socially excluding.
At 3.5 Morgan started coming home from nursery with stones, leaves, glass etc. in her mouth and there were reports of her chewing on her shoelaces. Around this time Morgan started eating a huge amount of food, packing her mouth full as she could, swallowing before she could chew it properly and wanting strong tastes. She started pulling her hair out to spit on or eat. Morgan was also chewing her cheeks and pinching her skin. At this point, it was rare for Morgan to have a day at school without falling over numerous times and her shoes were wrecked within a day or two. She cracks her knuckles and bites her nails.
Morgan went through an autism assessment, which was ruled as not on the autistic spectrum but the recommendations from the paediatrician were to provide daily sensory help which was not followed through with. The paediatrician also felt it wise to assess for global dyspraxia but again no diagnosis was made.
Morgan had an accident at school in which as one of the school fire doors were closing, she couldn't get her finger out of the hinge fast enough resulting in a partially amputated left index finger held on by 1 ligament which needed immediate surgery. When Morgan had the accident, she didn't indicate she felt any pain, upon focusing on this we noticed that it seems Morgan only cries when she feel like she should be in pain or when the shock of the accident has affected her.
Around 5, the chewing/spitting still continued, her sleeves were chewed apart and there were teeth marks she put her hands on. She now admits to chewing things at school including a door in her playground, we saw her chew her pens at the start of the school day, her laces were coming back frayed. Morgan started losing her milk teeth, all 4 she has lost so far she has ripped out of the gum. She is sceptical about trying something in case she is no good i.e. football. Morgan doesn’t tell people she needs to go to the toilet until she is desperate to go.
She finds it difficult to make and keep friends and has no close friends at school. Morgan is frequently unable to relay information such as school events, what she has done or had to eat, when she does, she mostly gets it wrong i.e., it was my birthday yesterday.
There started to be school reports of Morgan stealing children’s and teacher’s lunches and eating chewing gum from the playground floor, we saw her pick up various things from the playground to eat.
Morgan has tantrums and mood swings at home & in the classroom frequently where she will bang her head against the wall & punch/kick people, walls & doors. Particularly bad if asked to sit down or complete a task. She has immense fears of flies & being sick.
Whilst these behaviours are still very much present lthere was an incident where Morgan ate medication and despite taking measures each time she was determined to gain access. We were blamed although we seeked help for 4 years and even the paediatricians reccomendations were ignored.
A recent mental health assessment has said Morgan is deeply unhappy.
Although Morgan has never been able to talk about why she chews, spits and eats various things, when I recently spoke to Morgan she says it feels like her teeth have to practice chewing and that she felt it would be very hard to not be able to do it. She has also reported that she chews/eats a considerable amount at school every day including the playground equipment, various objects off the floor and in the classroom. Morgan is keen to hide the fact she is doing this as she doesn't, in her words; want people to "complain."
Does this sound like a SPD child to you?


4. Is there any immediate help you need?
Anything you view to be useful?
5. SPD doesn't run your life! What are you or your child's gifts? Interests?
Drama, loves to perform!
6. What do you like to do in your spare time? Any hobbies or interests?
Photography, currently building my portfolio.
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AngelaVA Offline
Regular

Posts: 163
Joined: Nov 2010
#2
RE: Assessment tommorow, accused of emotionally abusive parenting!!

Oh wow it sounds like you are really going through a lot, I'm so sorry. There are many things I can identify with here with regards to my little girl, the not sleep issue for sure, and the intense focus on a strange behavior to the point nothing will stop them, the anxiety and tantrums. My husband and I have also been accused of causing this by some kind of parenting problem, even by a psychologist.

I really really hope you find a professional who is actually professional in their knowledge and treatment to help you. The OT eval sounds like a good start.

Have you considered seeing a DAN doctor? http://www.autism.com/pro_danlists_resul...=US&type=1 The one we see has been very helpful and works with children with all different sorts of issues (SPD, ADHD, Autism, Asperger's ect)

What about going to a big center like a Children's Hospital and getting a full evaluation - have you done that already?
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mawkinberd Offline
Regular

Posts: 218
Joined: Jun 2010
#3
RE: Assessment tommorow, accused of emotionally abusive parenting!!

Gosh, yeah, sounds like so many severe sensory issues. Serious seeking in the constant chewing (putting things in your mouth gives very fast input, comparatively speaking), walking on toes showing some balance issues (vestibular instability), and a possible vitamin deficiency? She might have some issues absorbing some sort of nutrient, what with all the odd things she tries to eat. Not sure about her intense fear of flies, but I also share that intense fear of being sick, and frankly, since she probably feels out of control to do what she "should" do in a normal situation, I'm sure she feels completely freaked about how she should act in a "special" situation, like being sick. And there are so many different ways someone can be autistic, I just have no clue. But an OT is a fabulous start, and autism specialists would be a great follow-up, like a DAN doctor. I find it really troubling that the pediatrician didn't recommend that to begin with; if he felt out of his depth, he should have called in the big guns. Just my take on it.

Does your daughter like to jump on the bed? If so, you might find a trampoline for her for some good vestibular input. Also, for the chewing, I've heard refrigerator tubing is relatively safe on the teeth and great for input. You may have to buy a lot if she chews that hard, but if she has something safer to chew, it may assist her in avoiding the more dangerous items that she has been using. And I'd get her to carry heavy things any opportunity you can. Have her "help" you carry the clothes basket, the groceries, et cetera. Heavy work like that can often help calm the system, and it sounds like she needs that calming. Even if the root cause is not primarily sensory, this can help with the sensory stuff she does seem to be showing.

Best of luck, and let us know how the eval goes! hug
Affectionately yours,
Sarah
My Blog - Mawkinberd's Nest
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Gemma Offline
Newbie

Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2011
#4
RE: Assessment tommorow, accused of emotionally abusive parenting!!

Thanks for your replies.
The OT can't diagnose but is sending the report to her paediatrician.
She said she thinks she has sensory processing disorder and hypermobile joints!
We are looking for tools for stimulation and to help calm her now!!!
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beck7422 Offline
Regular

Posts: 342
Joined: Jun 2010
#5
RE: Assessment tommorow, accused of emotionally abusive parenting!!

She definitely sounds Hyposensitive. She definitely needs an OT to treat her for SPD. At minimum it should help with the vestibular problems. There are safe chew toys and necklaces that be good for her to try instead of random stuff on the floor.

I used chewing gum, but my chewing needs were no where near your daughter's levels.

Have the Pediatrician check for mineral and vitamin deficiencies. Maybe there is something in wood that she isn't getting from her regular diet that her body is craving.
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AngelaVA Offline
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Posts: 163
Joined: Nov 2010
#6
RE: Assessment tommorow, accused of emotionally abusive parenting!!

Maybe something like this http://www.amazon.com/CHEWY-TUBES-MULTIP...B002127E7M

Check for vitamin AND mineral deficiencies for sure. When they FINALLY checked our daughter we were horrified at how many deficiencies she had. I can't believe that's not more of a standard medical thing when a child is having problems.
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