I’m glad to find this forum. I have so much to learn and understand about my son.

He is 9 now and was referred for a psychological evaluation last year for anxiety and sensory issues and related problems. The doctor gave me her “diagnostic impressions” of generalized and social anxiety, slight depression and SPD. She suggested a book about SPD & gave a info page on childhood anxiety, and suggested private OT. I need to find a local practice that takes Medicaid but hadnt yet cause of covid, I was naively thinking this pandemic would be winding down by now.

Anyways, before I knew he was neurodivergent and before I understood as much about how his anxiety & SPD could affect him, I was being too hard on him about his behavior. We would get into yelling fights over getting dressed and buckled up to get to school on time in the morning. I would accuse him of being lazy or inattentive for ignoring his own hunger/thirst/need to use the restroom or running into stuff. I would be frustrated when he complains about the groceries or vacuum being too heavy. Or if he cries cause it’s too hot/sweaty/dirty to play outside or when I’m giving him a haircut. I felt he was being lazy or just wanting to get back to his tablet. Sometimes when he got really upset over his food he would grab his throat and pant saying he couldn’t breathe and that it was gonna choke him cause of how it made his throat feel or he would gag. I would tell him “yes you can breathe there’s nothing wrong” and thought he was being overly picky. Now I think he may have been having panic attacks (this has gotten much better now). I was so ignorant

Up until he hit school age he was a very happy kid and didn’t have so many of these issues. He was a little developmentally behind on crawling/talking/walking as a baby and had always hated socks, didn’t like certain foods but that seemed normal for little kids. It got bad when he was starting school and his dad and me were getting divorced at that time too. His dad had began having psychotic episodes the last yr of our marriage, it was undiagnosed schizophrenia. I think maybe those stressors triggered something for my son? It wasn’t until I happened to see something about SPD online I thought I should get him checked out early last year.

I been dealing with a lot of guilt since then about how insensitive I was to his differences, for almost 3 years! I constantly feel like I need to make up for that, and I’m still trying to learn the best ways to support him. SUGGESTIONS WELCOME!! I’ve apologized to my gentle and sensitive and forgiving baby, but I am having a hard time forgiving myself.

We’ve been homeschooling through the pandemic while I work from home and it seems to help him to be free from rigid traditional school schedules and uniforms , but he misses friends. He’s been playing Roblox with similar age kids in a Zoom class, and I’m trying to find other covid conscious families to do safe outdoor play dates with. My two oldest kids are high risk for severe covid and we are in the south and community spread is really bad here right now with the delta strain so we’re trying to be very cautious. If anybody on this forum happens to have a similar age child who plays Roblox I would be happy to let them add one another as friends.

Thanks if you’ve read all this, and if you have any helpful suggestions I will really appreciate it.