The Site Rules


The Short Version:

1. Be supportive and polite
2. Be honest and accepting of other member’s opinions
3. Don’t chronically dwell in the negatives of the diagnosis
4. Follow moderator instructions


Expanded

1. Be supportive and polite


A. Be respectful of other members on the board, and this involves a lot of things.

I. No flaming or attacking other members! This is not tolerated on this board. Debates are allowed, but as soon as the tone changes from supportive to demeaning or insulting (or generally non-supportive), then it is wise to back down, as insulting and attacking other members WILL lead to moderator actions taken against the assaulting members.

II. Do not speak as the ‘voice of reason’ or try to ‘set people straight’ when it comes to parenting and treatment methods. There is not one parent in this world that is truly perfect, and in most cases you do not know the members you are writing to in real life. To assume you have all the answers and that other parents are wrong for their own attempts to help their child, as long as they are within the bounds of reason, is grounds for moderation or even banning.

III. If you do disagree with the way a parent is treating their child, or the methods they are using, voice your objection as a suggestion, and not as a command. We are not here to tell other parents how they should be raising their child, merely to offer them support and guidance. (Example: Use phrases like “perhaps you could…” or “have you thought of trying…?” as opposed to “You NEED to do this…” or “You are screwing up if you don’t do….”)

IV. Please refrain from swearing on the board when it is unnecessary. We are all people, and most of us are going through a hard time at this point. Feel free to swear on the board as a way of venting frustrations, but do NOT swear at or even about other members or treatment methods. There are better ways of showing emphasis for your beliefs than swearing! Let’s be mature adults.


B. Be supportive of all members, especially the newer members.

I. Welcome newbies and offer them support and show them there are others here who have been through things that are similar to what they are going through

- a. We’ve all been new at one point, here and on other groups. We know how we want to be received. No one wants to get yelled at or made to feel unwelcome on a board. Never accuse new members of screwing up in their old parenting techniques. We are here to help parents find better ways of helping their children, not accuse them of screwing up. We all did things we shouldn’t have before we were aware of SPD.

- b. If a new member is clearly not behaving appropriately, please do not bombard them with negative messages. Be kind and considerate in your responses to them and report, if needed, to a moderator.

II. We are a support group, first and foremost. We may talk about things that aren’t necessarily related to SPD a lot, but we are ultimately a support group, and should conduct ourselves in that manner.

III. Respect veteran members. Respect doesn’t just apply to newbies; be supportive of all members on the site! We all need help sometimes. SPD is an ongoing battle!


C. Watch your wording! Check your tone when you are posting. Read back over your post before submitting it. If you feel as though you may be attacking the other member, please reconsider posting, for your own good, as well as for all the other members of the site.



2. Be honest and accepting of other member’s opinions.


A. Be honest with the personal information that you choose to share.

I. Do not lie about your age or other information. If you do not want to share this information, it is perfectly fine. Do not post it. Just don’t lie about your information, as doing so hinders the moderator’s trust in you, and is grounds for banning.

II. If you are at all concerned with your privacy and/or safety on this site, please read our privacy policy.

III. Do not share information that you wouldn’t feel comfortable with the whole world seeing. Many areas of this site are public, so that hopefully parents who really need support can see all the activity and the way people are here and want to join as well. With that in mind, unless you are comfortable with the whole world being able to see it, do not post your real name, photos of you or your family (as an avatar or otherwise), age or other critically identifying information about yourself openly on the forums.


B. Do not make up stories on this board. We do not allow trolling, period. To those who are unaware, there are actually people who spend a lot of time searching around the web for nice, peaceful communities like this one to post nonsense stories (that may often appear very believable), just to start drama and tension amongst the members of the site. We will not tolerate this behavior!


C. Do not spam the board with advertisements. We are a support community, not a public ad space. All spamming messages will be deleted, and all spamming members will be banned.


D. Please be understanding that everyone is entitled to their own personal opinion. Do not attack people for their honest personal beliefs on this board.


3. Don’t chronically dwell in the negatives of the diagnosis

A. We are a support community. If you are having problems, we are the place to turn too. We do not discourage venting, asking for support, cries for help, or asking for advice. These are all valid posts and should be encouraged. However, we strongly encourage all members to remember the positives in life and get to know each other!


B. Remember that, in order to be calmer and less stressed out in real life when raising your kids, it is important to remember your own needs! We are all here because we are in a similar place as you, going through a lot of the same stuff. We do want to get to know you though, so remember to post off-topic and share things that are of interest to you. We are an SPD group, but we are not only here to talk about SPD!


C. In your introduction to the group, remember to share things that are of interest to you, such as hobbies, preferences, and anything else you like to talk about or do in real life. You are free to discuss those things as much as possible here. In fact, we encourage it!


D. Remember to be mindful of the strides you have made in your journey with SPD. As things start improving, remember to share it with us! It will give other parents hope, and will do you a lot of good to see it in writing, yourself.


4. Follow moderator’s instructions.


A. If a moderator tells you not to do something, don’t do it! If a moderator suggests you should do something, try to do it.


B. If a thread is closed because of drama, do not continue the drama on another thread, or open up a new thread on the same topic to continue the drama. All follow-up threads that continue drama will be deleted, and the poster will be dealt with by the moderators.


C. While it is helpful to remind other members of the rules, please do not take the law into your own hands. Moderators will be on the scene to take care of problems pretty quickly. If you find another member breaking the rules, use the report post button to report the post to our moderators, and then move on. Please do not cause unnecessary trouble.


D. Moderators do not have supreme rule here, but they are critical to the site. If you feel a moderator is abusing his or her power, send me a private message to let me know about it. I can take care of things if appropriate.

Rule's version 1.0