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Hard to cope to changes
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Zebra Offline
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Joined: Mar 2012
#1
Hard to cope to changes

To start off, heres some background information on myself and my SPD.
I was diagnosed while I was in Elementary school, my fourth grade teacher picked up on it and helped my mother get me some help. I went to Occupational Therapy...to be honest I didnt really know why I was going, just that my OT was nice and I had fun going. Im now 19 and my mother finally explained why I went and all that jazz. Would have been nice to know before as now everything makes so much more sense. I had a lot of issues throughout school with anxiety and social aspects.

I fall into the hypersensitive spectrum in each of the senses. Im a very picky eater...some food textures just disgust me. I have never eaten meat....even as a child I just couldnt stomach it. Pineapples, bananas....anything mushy or stringy makes me gag. Chunky veggies like tomatos in pasta sauce make we want to puke. Smokey smells are also a no go. The list could really go on. When I was a baby, I would throw fits over my socks....those little seams over your toes....yeah those had to be perfectly aligned on my feet. Long sleeved shirts, short shorts, and those tags!!!! That lingering feeling that you get after someone touches you.... drives me bonkers. I am a very jumpy person....Which is not really a good thing as I have reacted so strongly as to do harm to people with my hands, feet, or objects I happen to be holding on to.....yikes. Sometimes people find this amusing and make a game out of it.... -___- Some sounds drive me over the edge. People chewing on ice sends my body into a freak out and causes an involuntary cringe and chills down my spine and teeth shoot in pain. And people dont understand how painful the sound, sight or even thought is to me....My boyfriend does this a lot and there are many times I end up yelling at him and getting up and being way to close to slapping him just to make him stop. Like I said, I am very jumpy so sudden noises can cause me to jump (and people of course to laugh at my reaction) I could continue on forever with all my "quirks" but I shall stop here and get on with my point!

The OT I guess did help...my fine motor skills. Helped me figure out some coping skills. But still, like others have mentioned, it has come out in anxiety (others have mentioned depression, ocd, adhd...) Panic attacks/meltdowns come and go. But recently, my "same ol ' routine" has changed drastically- almost a month ago I had my first child. Many aspects of my SPD are really effecting my ability to fully take care of him....and with my relationship with my partner.

The crying.....it just unroots something in my that sends me over the edge to the point where I am screaming at other people. Just generally pissed off at the world. I can not get near him (it just escalates my feelings/reaction tenfold.) I just have to leave the room and get away. That is the only way to stop it. I have yet to be able to change a diaper. The smells and sights send me in to flight mode (normally towards the bathroom while gagging and crying) Its just total panic. I also have a nice phobia twards vomit.....which weve had a lot of recently (but thats hopefully been fixed!) But the few times I have been unlucky enough to get even the slightest bit on me, panic mode engages. Its just sensory overload to the max and I just have no control over it. I have lost all my previous coping skills that gt me through the day and I have no clue what to do or how to get it back. My partner and I have been really on edge with each other recently. He doesnt fully understand this problem I have and I dont really know how to explain it to him or be able to get the support from him that I need.

I know there are other SPD parents on here. How did you adjust? Does it just get better with time? Is there some sort of OT for adults? Or a counseling type thing? I really want to be able to get over this but I feel like I am just stuck at a dead end. :/
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beck7422 Offline
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#2
RE: Hard to cope to changes

Do you have clothes pins or a nose plug that you can wear whenever you attempt to change diapers? One of my friends couldn't change a diaper without some sort of nose plug, because every time he tried he would vomit and then there would be an even bigger mess to clean up.

I am assuming with your sensory issues you can't breastfeed and are using formula? Do you have a rocking chair (more for you, but it might help your baby stop crying as well) or some kind of automatic rocking device for the baby?

My husband and I are planning on adopting/foster care of an older child. There is no way I could have cared for a baby. I have problems lifting a few lbs, a baby even for 1 hour would exhaust me for days. (I have another condition in addition to SPD that drains my energy and strength quickly).

You personally may benefit from some meditation techniques. That way you can shut down your senses temporarily while you need to do a critical task like feed or clean your baby. I use meditation techniques to help me get out of panic attacks. My panic attacks are triggered by crowds where people are touching me randomly and lightly all over my body as they pass by.
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Zebra Offline
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Joined: Mar 2012
#3
RE: Hard to cope to changes

Its more than just the smell. Its the sights, the sounds, the feelings of grime and dirtiness that just surrounds the whole area and process. It just sets me off! I tried breastfeeding but its been difficult for both of us (he has issues latching without biting down and causing bruising and bleeding.) I know the benifits of breastmilk so Im trying to do what I can to get it to him. Im currently using an electric pump and bottling to him. Mooooo! And rocking chairs just make me feel overly woozy. He does have a little rocking swing that he adores. It is a life saver! Ive tried meditation techniques in the past but I would just get so distracted with other things going on that I couldnt. Prepping fo rthe meditative state would get my brain thinking about anything and everything and no matter what I would do I could not stop trailing around with my thoughts or getting distracted by outside actions. All it did was frustrate me and in the end be unproductive. Im not sure if there is a better technique that what I was using or if Im just that wound up about everything that I cant seem to do it. What kind of techniques do you find are most helpful?
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Marci Offline
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Joined: Jul 2011
#4
RE: Hard to cope to changes

Who is caring for the infant? Doing the feeding, burping, diapering, etc?

I'll be bluntly honest and say I found your posts about the baby rather concerning, concerning for the child's physical and mental well-being. Your first post above makes it sound like you are so reactive as to be unsafe around the infant - you talk about "have lost all my previous coping skills" - please get professional help for your child and yourself immediately. Start with your GYN - ask for support services for new mothers. Find a psychologist/neurologist who could refer you to an OT with expertise in desensitization issues. Talk to a doctor about the anxiety issues.

Infants need and deserve to be with people who can bond with them in order for them to develope attachment "skills" that the child will need throughout its life. Every new mother experiences stress and exhaustion, but if your SPD issues won't let you get past the baby's basic bodily functions to connect with child, please find a caregiver for the child who can meet the baby's needs and seek help for yourself.
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Zebra Offline
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#5
RE: Hard to cope to changes

Currently his father is doing most of the work. We moved in with my parents for the extra support. I try to do what I can but it is not as much as I know what I should be able to do. :/ MY OB and a friend of the family who is a psychiatrist have been looking into different medications and other things to try but I am quite limited as to what I can do based on what is around and what I can take safely. I want to get past this but I just dont know how on my own and progress with the medical field seems to be going slow. Surely I cant be the first person like this...can I? :/ I have enough sense to be concerned, too. I dont want anything to happen to him or anybody else. Sad
My partner has issues understanding SPD and how and why I am the way I am. I know that my son has a chance of having SPD, too. I want to make sure he is aware of these issues that could (possibly) effect both of us without him getting frustrated with not understanding. Such a sticky situation :/
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Marci Offline
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#6
RE: Hard to cope to changes

(03-12-2012, 05:48 PM)Zebra Wrote:  MY OB and a friend of the family who is a psychiatrist have been looking into different medications and other things to try but I am quite limited as to what I can do based on what is around and what I can take safely. I want to get past this but I just dont know how on my own and progress with the medical field seems to be going slow. Surely I cant be the first person like this...can I? :/ I have enough sense to be concerned, too.
Have you tried nutritional supplements, rather than drugs? Omega fatty acid supplements, probiotics, vitamin D, diet changes (gluten, soy and dairy can all trigger SPD reactions). Ask your doctor for a nutritional evaluation; if you are lacking in key nutrients that can definitely effect your brain (I see this in my SPD son every day). Especially right after pregnancy women tend to be lower than they should be in some vitamins.
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Zebra Offline
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Joined: Mar 2012
#7
RE: Hard to cope to changes

I havent, actually. I do take a daily vitamin but a lot of vitamins are hard to find as they use animal products in them. The only dairy I eat is cheese. Milk makes me want to vomit unless it is used in cooking something. It is really hard to do diet changes as my diet is already pretty limited...I tried to go gluten free (my mom has a gluten intolerence, possible celiacs. And that can be passed down but i have no clue if I am or not. Not a fan of needles XP) but that limited me down to zilch to eat. I wasnt ever feeling full no matter how much I ate. I know I've had iron issues....my body doesnt like to absorb much of it, but ive been eating more iron-rich foods and taking a chlorophyll complex that a nutritionist gave me to help with absorption. What kind of vitamins/nutrients do you find help?
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Marci Offline
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#8
RE: Hard to cope to changes

(03-13-2012, 04:49 PM)Zebra Wrote:  I havent, actually. I do take a daily vitamin but a lot of vitamins are hard to find as they use animal products in them. The only dairy I eat is cheese. Milk makes me want to vomit unless it is used in cooking something. It is really hard to do diet changes as my diet is already pretty limited...I tried to go gluten free (my mom has a gluten intolerence, possible celiacs. And that can be passed down but i have no clue if I am or not. Not a fan of needles XP) but that limited me down to zilch to eat. I wasnt ever feeling full no matter how much I ate. I know I've had iron issues....my body doesnt like to absorb much of it, but ive been eating more iron-rich foods and taking a chlorophyll complex that a nutritionist gave me to help with absorption. What kind of vitamins/nutrients do you find help?
What country are you in? I know the US and UK have different labeling and food safety laws, so if you're not in the US what I'm familiar with might not be available to you.

1. I understand needle phobia (my son has it to an EXTREME degree) but sometimes you have find a way to get the answers you need to make progress. If your mom has celiac (both of us do) and you have SPD or neurological problems, you need to know if you are gluten intolerant. If you are, a completely GF diet might radically improve your life. My son has neuro complications from celiac, and I know what they can do to you.

2. To make informed decisions on your health, you need accurate information - like your serum iron level, ferritin level, vit. D, vit B-12 level, carnitine level, comprehensive blood chemistry panel, and a hemogram to start with, and probably more vit. levels. Bodies and minds don't work right, i.e. SPD, when they don't have the right tools - vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, etc. - to run on. This means bloodwork, but you could find a way to really improve your life because of a blood test, wouldn't it be worth it?

3. There's an old slogan, "you are what you eat" which is being proved true every day. If your diet isn't giving you the right stuff, then your mind won't right. If something in your diet is harming you, like gluten, then you need help learning to eat in a healthy way that you can tolerate.

I want the very best for you and your baby, but I think you need medical help to get your sensory issues under control. As the parent of an SPD kid, I work with 4 different specialists and an OT to help him conquer his challenges; the problems are too big for us to deal with on our own, and I sense that you, too, are struggling with big issues. Drugs do not work for my son at all; the side effects are horrible and we saw no improvement. Diet and nutritional supplements, based on careful monitoring, have helped him make great progress and I hope you can get similar results.
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Raven Offline
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Posts: 39
Joined: Jan 2012
#9
RE: Hard to cope to changes

I've been thinking about you since I read your post a couple of days ago. I feel for you and in some repsects understand. I never had children because I knew I couldn't take care of them properly. I throw up around any weird smell, and fecal matter and vomit is the worst. Crying would drive me insane and I would end up going crazy. Even now, I cannot clean toilets or the kitchen, and cannot cook food for the weird sensations I get that lead to anxiety, screaming and crying. Anyway, here are my thoughts and if they help, great. My mom wan't nearly as bad as I am, and she left a lot of the parenting to my father. He was a great father and did well by my sister and me. My mother was absent mentally and sometimes physically from my childhood. However, I love her dearly and understand why she left. My point is, if you cannot take care of your child without hurting your child or without undermining your sanity, maybe you should leave most of the parenting to your husband and parents. It could be safer for all around. My mom came back to our family when I was 15, when she could handle it. Although, I'm not saying to leave the house, but do what you can and then ask for help. But if you think you will hurt your child . . . Run for the hills!! From my childhood, I promise that it is better for you to be somewhat distant then damaging.

Some other thoughts, if you've done all the tests that Marci suggests and still have serious problems, I would recommend a low dose (0.25 mg) of Risperidone. It has worked wonders for me and my relationship with my husband. I'm calmer, more able to deal with my senses, and significantly less prone to anxiety. Also a SSRI might help. I know a lot of people want to stay natural, but I'm of the opinion, "Whatever helps". My SPD is so bad, that I have a hard time functioning at work and at home. Anyway, it's a thought.

I hope everything works out for you. I also hope that I haven't been too preachy or fear-mongering. I'm just scared for you and your child. HeartHeartHeart

Keep us informed; I want to know how if goes and if you find someway to deal with this and get through it.
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Zebra Offline
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Posts: 10
Joined: Mar 2012
#10
RE: Hard to cope to changes

Marci: I am in the US. I have tried gluten free and, like I said, it was very hard. Its not really something I can see myself actually being able to stick to. My diet is already so limited. :/ I had a CBC about 2-3 weeks ago when I went in to the urgent care (and later the ER) for postpartum Preeclampsia. I was told everything was normal at the time. What type of doctor would be best to see for more nutritional side of things? Would a dietician or something be adequate in the medical sides of SPD?

Raven-Right now most of the parenting is done by the father. But, unfortunately for me, he is going to tech school for a year. We dont have the money for me to go with him (plus, how would I manage while he was in school... i dunno! :C ) It's a lot of stress on my partner to do most of the parenting and that kills me :/ He doesnt grasp what I go through with the meltdowns I have. And when things start rattling me too much I do run. Which doesnt always get the best response from my family.

I do love kids. Everyone tells me I am great with them. I just cant handle babies and everything that goes along with them. Get them around 2 or 3 and beyond im totally okay....
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