Hello, Im Emma, 30 year old mum of 4 kids. Eldest is 6, youngest is 12 weeks. My concern is with my 2nd eldest, 4y/o Matilda (Tilly) and I really am not sure where to start. My husband is not particularly interested in finding out whether Tilly has SPD or any 'condition' as such, as he does not like the idea of labelling her. Ive also been discouraged to investigate further by other family members (their profession are teachers) so I feel a little trapped. Here is a unique little girl that I really find such a challenge with how to deal with her, I hope that I am able to sound out a lot of my challenges with you people to see if Im heading in the right direction. I need to learn how to deal with my special little person. (even if we never label her) and give her the best upbringing I can.
Thanks!

Her symptoms are as follows:
Finds it very difficult to keep eye contact
Very floppy, sits W legged
In social gatherings even with children she keeps to herself
Very habitual in what food she likes
Often sits around in a lethargic state (sucking thumb)
Doesnt feel the need to communicate verbally, so often pushes
Very slow to respond to her name being called
Gets very distressed when disciplined
Clumsy, used to quite regularly fall on her face
Only likes to wear dresses/skirts. Doesnt like to have a jumper or leggings with it.
Doesnt like to be kissed goodnight on the lips.
Will never initiate a hug.
Will play alone for hours, imaginary play.
Late toilet training, still having accidents 1 year later, doesnt feel the need to go.

These are the most obvious ones I can think of off-hand.

well first off, Hello!
I'm sorry you aren't being supported more in your quest to better understand your daughter... Why is your husband resisting this label?
The list of symptoms makes it seem like a possibility be be further investigated... but even if you are the only one that thinks so, that's a start! Good for you for rooting for your daughter! Probably your husband is trying to protect her or is otherwise well-intended, but I think it is helpful to find out more rather than just deal with situations.

Looking forward to getting to know you more

Welcome!! I hope you will keep looking into this. She has many SPD symptoms. You can do so much to help her at home even if you don't get a diagnosis right away, which would benefit her immensely. Check out these two books. I think they'll get you started and you'll see some pleasant results in your daughter's behavior:
Sensational Kids: Hope and Help for Children with Sensory Processing Disorder
Growing an In-Sync Child: Simple, Fun Activities to Help Every Child Develop, Learn, and Grow
The earlier she gets on a sensory diet, which you'll understand more about once you read Sensational Kids (or the Out-of-Sync Child), the better chance she has of adapting to the challenges she's going to face in life.