My son has been with an OT for 2 months now. He goes twice a week. I'm not getting very much feedback and I'm really frustrated. She says I can email her, but she never emails back. Or she'll say she'll email me some info. but I never hear from her. At the end of each session, I get to talk with her for about 5 minutes and it's so hard to get information out of her. She seems frustrated with me.

She was out of town for 2 weeks and we had another OT fill in. She was amazing. I learned more from her in 2 weeks than all the time with our regular OT. I'm so confused about what to do. Should we find another OT? My son loves her, but my connection with her is awkward. I am still so new to this and I'm trying to understand it and do what I can to help my son, but I need someone to explain it to me and I just feel our OT is not doing that.

Any suggestions?

Also, I was reading that a good OT would not push things too fast. An example: last week she used this balloon that you blow up and let go and it fly's across the room and makes a loud whistling sound. My son (whose 3 1/2) freaked out. The next time we saw her for his next appointment he asked her (almost in tears) if they could not do the balloon today. She tried it again and he freaked out. Her explanation to me was that he needs to be exposed to things that may startle him. Those weren't her exact words, but close. I understand the idea is to gradually get him used to unexpected things/noises, but I just felt it was too quick after his first freak out. Am I overreacting?

Ugh, I'm just so frustrated. Like I said, this is all new to us. We just got diagnosed in June and I feel like I have no support. I'm so glad to have found this site!

I appreciate any feedback you could give me.

Hi Ann,
Oh, how my heart goes out to you and to your son. You ARE NOT over reacting. have been in this situation almost exactly as you have described. Without a doubt, I highly suggest listening to your gut feeling. It is possible that if your son continues with an OT that pushes too hard too fast, it will cause him much anxiety to accept any OT in future (and surely to this one he is with). He will likely not want to work for her or if he does it may not be a comfortable, rewarding experience. My daughter who is now 3 1/2 was diagnosed with SPD pretty early on due to monitoring and high risks as a result of extreme early birth (24 weeker). At the age of two, I took her to a place, had a great experience with the person who performed the eval. The eval did not have an opening during the time frame we were available so we started with another OT. Long story short....she made Jenna do things too quickly. She made her be in a room with lighting that frightened her (she also has mild vision processing disorder), she made her get into big tube-like foam OT structures (I was not in the room but later found out)....the list goes on. My daughter kept "telling" me (although non verbal at the time), that she did not feel safe. Things progressively got worse and her anxiety got worse and worse. When I drove in front of the place, before even turning in, she would start "fight or flight" responding. The OT suggested that some kids "just need an extra push" and that once she was in the room without me she was fine. This was not the case, I heard my daughter screaming from the lobby waiting area. I was livid. I took her out and never went back. I would have been open to trying another OT there but my daughter was so scared of the place that I just had to avoid the place all together. It took months for us to get her anxiety level down when working with OTs. The bad thing is, I felt a little "off" regarding my and the OTs interaction/relati0onship after the 2nd visit. It got worse. I chalked it up to my being in a tough spot in dealing with the ins and outs of special needs. I didn't wand my daughter to learn that it was ok to stop something she didn't particularly enjoy...did not want to teach her to "quit". Well, I should have listened to the knots in my stomach, I should have listened to the signs. I felt so much better when we switched.

I am not suggesting that this OT IS wrong...just wanted to share that I strongly think you should tune into your gut feeling.

You are doing great. It is so tough, having this new diagnosis. So little support. I am so happy to have this and other support groups.

I wish you the best and remember you ARE your child's only true advocate. Question opinions you feel uncomfortable with. You are his mother, you know him best.

Kim

(09-09-2012, 08:19 PM)AnneF Wrote: My son has been with an OT for 2 months now. He goes twice a week. I'm not getting very much feedback and I'm really frustrated. She says I can email her, but she never emails back. Or she'll say she'll email me some info. but I never hear from her. At the end of each session, I get to talk with her for about 5 minutes and it's so hard to get information out of her. She seems frustrated with me.

She was out of town for 2 weeks and we had another OT fill in. She was amazing. I learned more from her in 2 weeks than all the time with our regular OT. I'm so confused about what to do. Should we find another OT? My son loves her, but my connection with her is awkward. I am still so new to this and I'm trying to understand it and do what I can to help my son, but I need someone to explain it to me and I just feel our OT is not doing that.

Any suggestions?

Also, I was reading that a good OT would not push things too fast. An example: last week she used this balloon that you blow up and let go and it fly's across the room and makes a loud whistling sound. My son (whose 3 1/2) freaked out. The next time we saw her for his next appointment he asked her (almost in tears) if they could not do the balloon today. She tried it again and he freaked out. Her explanation to me was that he needs to be exposed to things that may startle him. Those weren't her exact words, but close. I understand the idea is to gradually get him used to unexpected things/noises, but I just felt it was too quick after his first freak out. Am I overreacting?

Ugh, I'm just so frustrated. Like I said, this is all new to us. We just got diagnosed in June and I feel like I have no support. I'm so glad to have found this site!

I appreciate any feedback you could give me.

I happen to have lucked into the best OT therapist I could have hoped for. The first one was a student and although she was eager to help, she couldn't really educate me or make any progress with my son. I think if you cannot connect with the therapist, you need to let her know that it's not personal, but you need to tray someone else. My OT therapist spends an incredible amount of time educating, explaining, sympathizing and GIVING SOLUTIONS, recommendations, suggestions --- she is moving at the pace I want her to, which I think is pretty accelerated, because my son really needs to get passed some of these issues quickly. He's missing a lot of school because he can't get shoes and socks on, and in a public school I would have been before a truancy board by now, but I don't have time to go slow. She taught me the brushing, but when that wasn't working fast enough she introduced me to the Jeanie Rub Variable Speed Massager, and this baby has only been in our house a couple of days, but it really seems to be making a difference. The key is certainly to learning as much as you can, surrounding yourself with people who know more than you, trying everything and keeping what works and letting go what doesn't. It's a long process. It's exhausting, it's stressful and it will take you to the edge of the cliff.

(11-28-2012, 10:53 PM)mattsmom26 Wrote: I happen to have lucked into the best OT therapist I could have hoped for. The first one was a student and although she was eager to help, she couldn't really educate me or make any progress with my son. I think if you cannot connect with the therapist, you need to let her know that it's not personal, but you need to tray someone else. My OT therapist spends an incredible amount of time educating, explaining, sympathizing and GIVING SOLUTIONS, recommendations, suggestions --- she is moving at the pace I want her to, which I think is pretty accelerated, because my son really needs to get passed some of these issues quickly. He's missing a lot of school because he can't get shoes and socks on, and in a public school I would have been before a truancy board by now, but I don't have time to go slow. She taught me the brushing, but when that wasn't working fast enough she introduced me to the Jeanie Rub Variable Speed Massager, and this baby has only been in our house a couple of days, but it really seems to be making a difference. The key is certainly to learning as much as you can, surrounding yourself with people who know more than you, trying everything and keeping what works and letting go what doesn't. It's a long process. It's exhausting, it's stressful and it will take you to the edge of the cliff.

---

I couldn't agree with you more mattsmom26! We did, in fact, end up leaving b/c she yelled at him one day right in front of me and I flipped out! We took some time off from the whole experience before finding a new OT who is such a perfect fit for us!!! I now feel like we are finally on the right track and I feel like I am now a part of the team. It's so easy, as a the parent, to get so caught up in the emotion of it all, but we need to have someone who can also get us to see the reality of it and give us steps to move forward. It would be so easy to stay in that emotional place and just get stuck there. I think a good OT should be there for the parents as much as the child.

I don't think she should have done that with the balloon again, I would have introduced the balloon then put it away, the next visit lets blow it up but not let it go and get to the next move and so on etc... She sounds like an ass. ( sorry) Anyway go with your gut! I still have contact with my son's first OT from 6 years ago! They should always take the time to talk to you, what is the point of startling the child like that and he probably had anxiety all the way up until the time he had to go back there. You are the only person he has to speak for him and if you don't like her then she needs to go and request the other one! He will adjust and you will feel better and get the information you need instead of this garbage! (sorry to be so blunt but I am so sick of people who are supposed to be there to help your children and are just in a hurry to do their job and be done!)