+- SPD Support Forum (http://spdsupport.org/forum)
+-- Forum: General Forums (http://spdsupport.org/forum/forum-1.html)
+--- Forum: Introductions (http://spdsupport.org/forum/forum-3.html)
+--- Thread: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ (/thread-497.html)
Pages:
1
2
~ I am a freak of nature ~ - Neo - 11-22-2011
Hello, I am a male in his late 30's who has suffered his whole life. I remember when I was very young, perhaps 7-8 years old, I would put on headphones and listen to music while riding in the car with my Parents, so I wouldn't have to hear and see them chewing gum. Listening to gum-chewing has always been excruciatingly torturous to me, and it has only gotten progressively worse over the years. In addition, when I hear a dog's constant barking, it makes me feel this terrible angst inside, and it drives me insane! There is a neighbor's dog barking incessantly as I type this, and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I remember going to events and not enjoying myself because I seemingly always get stuck with a stupid gum chewer behind me, chewing like a cow in my ear.
A few years ago, a very caring therapist believed that I might be suffering from Asperger's Syndrome, but unfortunately he passed away from lung cancer in 2007 before he could further help me. He has been the only person in this world who has tried to understand me. Not even my Parents understand my condition. When I have told them how I felt about their chewing gum in front of me, they just dismiss it and think I am just being a jerk. Neighbors who are loud and inconsiderate also drive me crazy.
I am a very naive person, and many times in my life, people have taken advantage of me, especially at work. I may look normal on the outside, but on the inside I am way too sensitive. This I hate.
I have always been a loner. In high school, I experimented with pot, and realized this helped to take the edge off of the unease and total discomfort that I feel all of the time. However, I look back now and see that I used drugs and sex to escape from the angst I constantly feel inside me. I tried NA meetings for awhile, but of course these were almost impossible for me as well, with people chewing gum around me and the total awkwardness and angst of talking to people. I have also tried Church, and this helped as long as I didn't have to be around people too long.
I feel alone even in a room full of people. I don't know where to get started to get help. I feel hopeless and helpless. As an adult in his late 30's, I feel that help for me is too late. Thank God I found your site! I was so angry and sad at the same time when I found out that I was not the only freak in the world who was tortured by gum chewing, barking dogs, and noisy neighbors. I think my therapist was definitely on the right track, as Asperger's and Sensory Processing Disorder are both on the Autism spectrum. Does the nightmare ever end? Or does it just get worse?
I am relieved to know that I am not the only freak of nature in the world that suffers from this. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, and at least I know that maybe I am not such a bad person, that perhaps I have just been sick and undiagnosed all these years. That's what makes me angry.
Any feedback & comments are appreciated. I currently reside in South Florida.
Thank you.
RE: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ - teen with SPD - 11-25-2011
Hi, I recently about a year ago was diagnosed with SPD , I'm now 18, It is hard having this and you are NOT a freak of nature you are just experiencing the world differently than everyone else. I have trouble finding my way in crowded places and my eyes work differently than alot of peoples also I'm under sensitive. I choose to look at the world through positive glasses metaphorically speaking because then I think finding out I have SPD is a sense of relief knowing there is ways to help me and that is why I'm different.
RE: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ - Neo - 11-25-2011
Thank you friend for replying to my post. The last couple of days I have had glimpses of my past, and things are finally starting to make sense to me. The things I have done, the choices I've made, and things that have occurred in my life that never made sense until now.
I am glad to hear that you are seeing things in a positive light. I am not there yet, but I have hope to one day be there as well.
Thanks to this website, and to the information that's finally out there, I have come to realize that I am an alien in this world, but there are others, such as yourself, as well.
I guess the next step for me will be to find local help and hopefully get an official diagnosis.
Be well my friend.
RE: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ - teen with SPD - 11-26-2011
No, Problem , I also looking back after my diagnosis started to make sense of myself and issues I had earlier in life.
If I wasnt a positive person I don't know what I would do with myself .
This website helped me realize also that I'm not the only person out there with Sensory Proccesing disorder which gave me a sense of relief .
It was nice to meet you.
RE: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ - Neo - 11-28-2011
Thanks, likewise. I appreciate your feedback. Seems a lot of people browse but have nothing to say. I expected more responses.
I wish you very well my friend
RE: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ - teen with SPD - 12-01-2011
I wish you well also, if you need anymore advice please feel free to ask that is what others are there for
RE: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ - Jaffa - 12-01-2011
Would just like to say Hi.
I am a mum of a 5 yr old who has recently been diagnosed with SPD. I don't know much about it at the moment but want to know more.
It's sad that so many people have it and not many people know anything about it. I live in the uk and my child's school sent him to be tested. He has seen a paediatrician constantly since birth and I have flagged up loads of things that I now know is to do with SPD but all they could say was he is a normal boy who is very busy.
Ha, they want to live with him, it's like living in the fast lane of the motorway.
I wish there was more action on this site but guess most people busy living through it.
RE: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ - Neo - 12-02-2011
Hi, and thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. My 5 year old also suffers from sensory issues, as well as Selective Mutism. It was through her struggles that I was able to find out about my own.
There is a Yahoo group for SPD for adults that is a lot more active than this one here.
I am disappointed that I was outright very honest about myself hoping to hear some suggestions or comments, but only a couple of you have replied. I appreciate you and I wish you well. I think the great things about our kids is that they have Parents like us who are trying to help them overcome and deal with these disorders. My Parents had no clue, and still don't, about Autism or any other disorders on the Spectrum. Good luck and thanks again!
(12-01-2011, 10:38 AM)Jaffa Wrote: Would just like to say Hi.
I am a mum of a 5 yr old who has recently been diagnosed with SPD. I don't know much about it at the moment but want to know more.
It's sad that so many people have it and not many people know anything about it. I live in the uk and my child's school sent him to be tested. He has seen a paediatrician constantly since birth and I have flagged up loads of things that I now know is to do with SPD but all they could say was he is a normal boy who is very busy.
Ha, they want to live with him, it's like living in the fast lane of the motorway.
I wish there was more action on this site but guess most people busy living through it.
RE: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ - Jan - 12-02-2011
Neo, yours is the first post I've read here and I had to reply.
You are NOT a freak.
I'm not sure what help I can be, but please do not put yourself down, the world is a harsh enough place without you beating yourself up.
I've spent 40 years being different, and for the most part I have coping strategies to get me through everyday life. I am a fairly positive person even when I have had severe depression and i just concentrate on solving one problem at a time. Then I found this site and another and all the stupid and upsetting things just clicked into place.
Take heart, now you know it is not just you.
With love. Jan
RE: ~ I am a freak of nature ~ - Neo - 12-03-2011
Dear Jan,
Thank you for your kind reply.
You are right, we live in a world that is not very understanding, especially to those who are different.
I am still struggling to find coping strategies, although I do plan to purchase a pair of noise-reduction headphones for home, where every neighbor has an annoying barking dog that just won't stop, lol.
I am happy for you in that you have found ways to cope. I hope one day to do the same.
Take care and be well.
(12-02-2011, 07:45 PM)Jan Wrote: Neo, yours is the first post I've read here and I had to reply.
You are NOT a freak.
I'm not sure what help I can be, but please do not put yourself down, the world is a harsh enough place without you beating yourself up.
I've spent 40 years being different, and for the most part I have coping strategies to get me through everyday life. I am a fairly positive person even when I have had severe depression and i just concentrate on solving one problem at a time. Then I found this site and another and all the stupid and upsetting things just clicked into place.
Take heart, now you know it is not just you.
With love. Jan