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+--- Thread: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? (/thread-762.html)
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - LAC1961 - 10-19-2012
Do you get the never ending "Why?" My husband is bound and determined he will answer every one, no matter how long the chain goes on. I can handle about 5-6, then I say, "I can't answer any more questions right now."
Yesterday at the grocery store:
Why did that man talk to you?
He just needed someone to listen.
Why?
Sometimes it makes people feel better to talk to someone when something's bothering them.
Why?
He saw me smile when he walked by and wanted to talk to someone who would listen.
Why?
He needed to talk to someone.
Why?
It made him feel better.
Why?
Look at this! Do you want to pick out some macaroni and cheese?
Sigh!!
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - jrw2307 - 10-19-2012
I tried the push-up technique yesterday, and it worked so well!!!! As soon as I saw him clinch his fist or get agitated, we both got in the floor for pushups! We "pushed the anger out." And he loved it! No meltdowns at all last night, which was a first for us in a LONG time! Thanks for the tips!
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - heather40 - 10-19-2012
Thanks, youare right, there are just some days that we as parents are having an overwhelming day ourselves and it is just too much! Really if I call it a screen door do we really have to debate it?!?!? Of course we do! lol I tried to explain it to my older son today that how would it feel to wear sandpaper all day, how would it feel to hear a loud noise nad it feels like a ice pick going through your brain, etc... and this is how he lives all day everyday and it will never go away! To allow him to come home and let this be his safe place where he can be himself, relax, know he can trust the people he is with. He gets called crazy becuse of the hand flapping and strange noises and faces he makes whne he gets too excited. Have some compassion. I had just had it this morning with the fighting and arguing. Seriously he is 13 it is time to stop and think, you want to be treated mature then act like it! ugh! So, I think he got the picture at least until the next fight! ahahhahahaah Well have a good weekend! It is nice to have you guys on here!
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - LAC1961 - 10-20-2012
I gave my daughter a choice on when she started to have a tantrum. You can do five push ups or go sit in the time out chair. She chose the time out chair, but knocked it over when she went to sit on it. I didn't give her a choice the next time, just push ups, and things went much more smoothly.
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - shorrocksalot24 - 10-21-2012
LAC1961 - sure do get the Why? over and over. Literally - in the store, about why I talked to a cashier - and why she said what she did, and why I said what I did, just a couple of weeks ago!
Heather40 - I relate 100% with the older one - making it even testier. I try to remind myself, that I cant even get my 47yr old husband to get it - when it comes to me or my spd son. Then it is not as surprising when the 15yr old doesnt remember that he should know, WHEN is WHEN.(referencing the how much peper - just say when) I have a look that I shoot at the kid - because I know - way before he does, that my 12yr old is nearing when, resulting in the edge of no return. It can be exhausting, and frustrating. I shot dagers at my 15yr old last night over what he thought was fun and games - luckily we avoided the meltdown - but gosh it was close - I was ready to go to bed after that! Exhausting!!! A ghostly referee is what I have become - feeling like Gandhi if everyone still likes each other, by the end of the day!!!! sad but true.
Its great that push ups are working for you all - is the idea, that it burns that extra fuel? because my kid loves pushups - and does that random physical stuff - at any given moment, to the point that I get anxious waiting for him to hurt himself crashing into something, breaking something, or someone else! At his school, in gym on Friday - they had a pushup test (how many they can do) he did 20+ and still has shoulder, and chest aches from them (he likely has pediatric fibromyalgia not diagnosed yet) Yesterday, he had a complete game of soccer as the goalie - and still was bonkers last night! I gotta get him going on the treadmill - but dont trust him to not go over speed, cause he has done that before - he like his speed punching bag, and our fooseball table. I wish I was still able to be physically active with him, so I could direct him better! (like catches, or soccer in the yard) He is a very physically fit kid, and will play past pain. I just dont think he is getting enough activity in these days.
As far as dicipline - when my boys were much younger - I followed the 1,2,3 method, and the idea - you have to know what their currency is. Currency with my spder is, and has always been, sports, and electronics. The currency idea(still in use today) - I am slightly ashamed to say, is strait out of Dr. Phils mouth! Its true, and it works. The 1,2,3 method - is great because it gives them a warning time, which for my kids was always a good way to go. If I get to 3 - a currency is going away - no if, ands, of buts. I learned that method from the book - 1,2,3 magic. Good luck guys! (still gotta try the laugh thing though!)
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - heather40 - 10-21-2012
That is too funny about the pushups! ahahahaha Ilove it! Glad it is working for ya! Everyone wil be walking around with buff biceps! Throw in a few tricep pushups too! The push up give that deep pressure they seek. I used to hvae my SPD son in Muay thai ( only because I do it and I used to teach it) he LOVES swimming though, he cannot do any type of sports in a group or where he has to wait his turn. I am mantally exhausted this weekend, actually I am having my mother take them for the afternoon so I can regain my sanity and she lives 45 min away! That is how desperate I am right now. I never get like this, but between fighting with two schools, work, bills, SPD meltdowns, fighting between siblings, then teh cherry on the crap pie a boyfriend! I am beat! SO with that being said I am going to go and get ready for a soccer game. Have a great day !
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - Vivian - 10-21-2012
This really is wonderful and some great ideas. It helps me just reading this. I may not be happy about going through it with my Boys but I am grateful you shared it. Thank you. Maybe I can make the peace last a little bit longer in our home too.
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - LAC1961 - 10-21-2012
The only peaceful time I get is in the evening after my DD falls asleep (8-8:30). I always intend to read, relax, have a glass of wine, but I end up scouring the internet hoping to find some answer to the toileting or behavior dilemma, which I know is fruitless, but I keep trying anyway. I've been giving it a lot of thought, and I think the frequent meltdowns started when we switched to my daughter-in-law doing daycare. That probably means I should consider changing her to a new one or back to the previous one, but now family is involved, so I have to be positive that that is what it is. I'm just so darn frustrated. Everything is so much work!! I drive home from work Mon-Fri holding my breath hoping it will be a good night so I can actually enjoy being with my family, which had always been my favorite thing to do. And I spend all day Sat and Sun exhausted because of the immense effort it takes to cope with the accidents and tantrums that happen or feeling like I need to walk on eggshells to somehow keep the tantrums from happening. I think I may need to start seeing a therapist just to stay sane.
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - jrw2307 - 10-21-2012
I see a therapist - I actually developed an anxiety disorder from dealing with this 24/7. There is no shame in talking to someone! It really helps me! And I know how you feel... you want so desperately to have a good day or good night to feel like a "normal" family. To me that means, meltdown free. So, we can laugh together and enjoy each other. My son's meltdowns and regression began months ago, so it's hard for me to even remember the good times now. He is a totally different kid. Thankfully, we have a great team of people helping him who are collaborating efforts in talking to one another to find ways they all can treat him in different areas but striving for the same results. We see a behavior therapist and an OT therapist, and his pediatrician monitors what is going on too. This week, we now have found out he is dealing with a lot of anxiety and having migraines too, so it just adds to the bucket. I'm so tired!
RE: Disciplining an Extremely Sensitive SPD Child? - LAC1961 - 10-21-2012
Wow, anxiety and migraines too. My heart goes out to you (hugs). My newest theory relates to diet, so we're trying the Feingold diet (feingold.org). It's difficult, but no more difficult than dealing with tantrums and peeing her pants, and my husband is in agreement with this avenue, so we're trying it. Thanks for the encouragement about the therapist. I'm going to start looking.