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New and asking for advice - Jenniferzwize - 09-24-2010
Hello. I am here because I don't know where else to go for advice. My son is 9 years old and in the 3rd grade. He has SPD and goes to special ed for extra help in reading and math. He is super sensitive, very well behaved in school, very caring, & worries a lot. His is hyper sensitive to smells, and sounds. During the spring they put him with a different aid. He would come home upset everyday saying that the woman is mean and yells all the time at other students. I sent the case worker messeges with my concerns and asked they put him with a different aid in the fall. She said she would consider it but basically excused everything my son was saying. This year, I found she put him with the same girl. I decided I'd give things a chance and see how it went. He comes home upset daily. He says he feels scared when she talks, and she's so loud. After doing some research, I realized that this has to do with his Auditory defensiveness. "may decide whether they like a person by the sound of their voice." He tells me she gives him headaches. After many emails back and fourth with the Case worker, I finally came right out and told her I believe her voice is affecting his ability to learn because of his sensory issues. She called me today basically saying that she is the only one that she has to work with him, and if I don't like it, I can pull him out of special ed. She said a lot of kids get headaches, and he needs to learn how to deal with it. I was wondering if I could get some other opinions? I don't feel like this is something he can just "get over." If that was the case, none of us would be on this site. I don't know what to do, I feel so bad for my son. I don't know what the right thing to do is. Any thoughts and ideas would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Jennifer[/font]
RE: New and asking for advice - Dani - 09-25-2010
Hi Jeniferzwize, welcome to SPD International.
First off, I want to apologize for it taking more than a day for anyone to get back to you here. I am really sorry to hear about everything you are going through with your son.
(09-24-2010, 11:34 AM)Jenniferzwize Wrote: After many emails back and fourth with the Case worker, I finally came right out and told her I believe her voice is affecting his ability to learn because of his sensory issues. She called me today basically saying that she is the only one that she has to work with him, and if I don't like it, I can pull him out of special ed. She said a lot of kids get headaches, and he needs to learn how to deal with it.This is sheer ignorance. I'm sorry to hear about it. Like your son, I too have auditory sensitivities that have led to all sorts of trouble like this for me. I am often upset by people's voices, and am commonly found to think people are yelling when they actually aren't. I also used to get (well, and I still do get) a lot of headaches.
Your son needs to be away from this aid. I'm sorry, but if she's triggering so many sensory issues for him, no matter how much she intends to help him, she is ultimately doing more damage to him than good. He is being overwhelmed, frustrated, and scared. He is not going to be able to learn in this environment.
I would be incredibly angry at what I was told, that 'a lot of kids get headaches, and he needs to learn how to deal with it'. That's the same stuff I was told as a child, and it is totally wrong. Learn to deal with it? He's not just going through a headache, he's having meltdowns and anxiety attacks; he's going through a neurological disorder!
It looks like this school isn't honestly caring whether or not your child learns at all, and shoulcln't that be their jobs? You have a right to stand up against this. I assume he has an IEP. I would force a meeting and have an advocate with you. Get as much information as you know about auditory sensitivities, and outline why your son needs to have a different aid. If they can't provide for him, then it may be time to consider another schooling option. That's just my take from what I've seen here.
Does he have an OT? If not, I would make sure to get him in to seeing one, because it certainly sounds like he needs it (again).
Anyhow, again, welcome to SPD International. Since we are getting to know you, feel free to share with us a bit more about yourself (hobbies, interests, that sort of thing). I hope you are able to find all the support and resources you need here. Take care and *hugs*
RE: New and asking for advice - mawkinberd - 09-27-2010
Goodness, sounds like your school needs a good understanding of what could be going on. I'm really not fond of the "put up or ship out" attitude that people who don't understand the underlying issues seem to have about this. I agree with D1G1T... if you can get a re-eval along with an advocate who knows what's going on, it might help the situation. Your son obviously needs and deserves better than what he is getting from those people, even if it means they need to get some educating themselves.
Sorry my reply is so slow... I've been busy busy busy this week! It's nice to meet you here, and I hope that we can help you and support you with what is going on. Looking forward to hearing more about you and your son!
RE: New and asking for advice - ihave7monsters - 09-27-2010
Jennifer,
There is a website I absolutely LOVE, especially for things like this. I have fought with schools. And administrators. And, currently, I'm the mother than no one wants to deal with. This is why: I did a LOT of research on Wrightslaw. I don't know if SPD qualifies... my little one with SPD is only 2. But I do have a teenager with some special needs that I had to address with the schools. Nose around the site. There are some really incredible articles. Hope this helps! And remember... you're NOT alone!!!
www.wrightslaw.com
BTW... be forewarned that educators really hate it when you mention wrightslaw. They like to keep it a secret.
Warmest wishes,
Caryn
(09-24-2010, 11:34 AM)Jenniferzwize Wrote: Hello. I am here because I don't know where else to go for advice. My son is 9 years old and in the 3rd grade. He has SPD and goes to special ed for extra help in reading and math. He is super sensitive, very well behaved in school, very caring, & worries a lot. His is hyper sensitive to smells, and sounds. During the spring they put him with a different aid. He would come home upset everyday saying that the woman is mean and yells all the time at other students. I sent the case worker messeges with my concerns and asked they put him with a different aid in the fall. She said she would consider it but basically excused everything my son was saying. This year, I found she put him with the same girl. I decided I'd give things a chance and see how it went. He comes home upset daily. He says he feels scared when she talks, and she's so loud. After doing some research, I realized that this has to do with his Auditory defensiveness. "may decide whether they like a person by the sound of their voice." He tells me she gives him headaches. After many emails back and fourth with the Case worker, I finally came right out and told her I believe her voice is affecting his ability to learn because of his sensory issues. She called me today basically saying that she is the only one that she has to work with him, and if I don't like it, I can pull him out of special ed. She said a lot of kids get headaches, and he needs to learn how to deal with it. I was wondering if I could get some other opinions? I don't feel like this is something he can just "get over." If that was the case, none of us would be on this site. I don't know what to do, I feel so bad for my son. I don't know what the right thing to do is. Any thoughts and ideas would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Jennifer[/font]
RE: New and asking for advice - beck7422 - 10-02-2010
Continue to fight for a different aid. In the meantime, can your son tolerate earplugs or headphones. Maybe if he only wore them while working with that aid she will get the hint and moderate her voice a little.
RE: New and asking for advice - Jenniferzwize - 10-26-2010
Thank you all for you input. I lost this site... and spent some time trying to find it. We have and IEP meeting coming up in November. Thanks for helping me make the decision to fight this.