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+--- Thread: Think I may have SPD? (/thread-1825.html)
Think I may have SPD? - 12591872 - 10-16-2016
Hi all.
Allow me to start with a little background info on myself. Since the age of 5 I've been in and out of psychiatrist offices. At the age of 5 I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. At the age of 13 I was diagnosed with oppositional deffiant disorder, and depression. That psychologist had also mentioned I has "aspergery traits."
I was diagnosed at 14 with auditory processing disorder. And now at 16 my latest diagnoses was of ADHD/ primarily innatentive. And the psychologist that did the ADHD testing mentioned a "cycling mood disorder."
Anyways, as a child I was "very responsible" according to my parents. I have always been a "brute" and have always had a tendency to be too rough with people and objects. When giving people hugs I would sometimes throw them off balance, and I was always too rough when playing with other kids. I also was ALWAYS naked until I was forced to wear clothes. I didn't start wearing jeans until 7th grade, and I always wore basketball shorts and t-shirts, even in the winter I would go to the bus stop in basketball shorts. I don't really remember ever throwing fits or anything over my clothes, but that kind of tantrum throwing would not have been tolerated either and I was fearful of getting spanked as a kid so it probably kept me from going into screaming fits like many others have mentioned, even though I was uncomfortable. I also had a habit of rocking myself, I still do it now sometimes when I have no other sensory input, and I'm 16. This may be TMI, but I pooped my pants up until I was probably 7 or 8, despite my parents checking my pants after every outing, and getting punished everytime I pooped myself. I don't really remember my reasoning for this, however, even now I won't use the bathroom if the toilet paper is not the right texture, unless I absolutely have to. I despise the cheap public bathroom toilet paper with a burning passion. And I am the first to notice if my mom buys a different type, even if it's the same brand, but not the same style. So I do strongly believe that people not having the right toilet paper was probably the reason I refused to use the bathroom at other people's houses. I also hate things on my skin like lotion. I feel like I can't move when I have lotion on my skin, and so I just avoid it, even though I have a skin condition that makes my skin dry and bumpy. I also didn't have any friends until middle school and even now I only have one main friend and soemone other people I talk to. But I prefer it thato way because it's a lot of work having to maintain relationships with a lot of people, and it stresses me out to be around people too much.
Now that I am more aware of myself and my learning difficulties since I was diagnosed with APD and ADD, I actually feel like things are getting worse as i get older. As a child I used to LOVE reading. But now I would rather die than read a book. I haven't read a book of my choice in probably 4 or 5 years. Last year my creative writing teacher made us read books. I chose a non fiction book, just to find out we were supposed to be reading fiction books. I got so pissed I refused to read for a week and dug into my wrist and still have scars from it.
I have also been noticing lately that I have been mixing up my letters when I write. For example: If i were to write the word "randomly" I might actually write "ranly" or I might just make a total word soup and write "randlyom" or sometimes I might put a "b" instead of a "p" but I always catch myself right away and fix it. But this is a recent thing, so it kind of worries me.
Sometimes I will also sometimes lose my balance for no reason (not enough to fall or anything), and I've walked into my fair share of walls. Which is something I've also noticed more recently.
As a kid I also got motion sickness in the car and on a boat.
Some other things that Ive noticed, which some I know are associated to APD are:
-certain lights make me feel tired and lethargic, specifically the lights at school.
- I hate crying babies and screaming children, to the point I've almost broke down crying because I didn't know how to respond
- sirens and alarms give me goose bumps, and I refuse to set an alarm to wake me up in the morning. As a result my body has learned to wake itself up at the right time.
- I have super sonic hearing
- I have to smell cups before I pick one, because some cups smell bad. Sometimes people have cupboards that smell bad, and as a result the cups have the same smell.
- I hate big spoons and forks
-mint mouthwash burns my mouth much more than it burns other people's, my family thinks I over react, but it makes me tear up and it takes a while for my mouth to stop burning.
-fizzy drinks burn my mouth and ears
- I prefer to wear my hair up, and as a kid my hair had to always be up
- I dont like sunscreen because it is sticky
-I hate when people touch me with a light touch. I am VERY ticklish and it shocks ny whole body when people touch me when I don't expect it. I have even pushed or hit people out of reflex
- I hate when there is constant yelling, it puts me in a bad mood and makes me shut down
- certain voices make me want to strangle people.
- I refuse to eat fish because I hate the texture and fish are just gross in general
- I don't really like being kissed because of the slobber left on my face.
-I don't like people hugging me unless I initiate it. Although I prefer hugging over kissing any day.
- I am an adrenaline junky. I love going on "adventures" even if I know theu are dangerous our I can get in trouble. Once I get an idea in my head I HAVE to do it, or I get stuck on the idea.
- sometimes I get very hyper spurts where I don't know what to do with my energy, and I will spin, jump up and down, dance and sing, touch all over people, wrestle with the dogs, rock back and forth. If i am at school, and I can get away with it I will run up and down the hallway and up and down the stairs. I've even gotten yelled at at school for crawling into an Uninstaller sewage pipe thing. And I was 14 at the time so I should have been able to control myself.
-I love driving fast, I absolutely hate driving slow.
-strobe lights are a no no.
- when I get a lot of over stimulation I get a fight or flight response. Usually it turns into a fight. I've cussed out cops and my own grandmother. I feel bad but at the same time the ODD part of me says they deserved it. Even though I know I was triggered. In both situations there was excess stimuli.
- I have a very high pain tolerance.
- I LOVE touching things and squishing things. Especially things like stress balls and shaving cream. I get like an overload of happiness. In class I'm always jiggling my leg or taking things apart and putting them back together.
- I notice just about every change in my environment even things that others don't even think about.
- as a child I would suck three pacifiers at the same time. And it was very hard for my parents to ween me from them. (I'm mentioning this because either end that some SPD kids have thumb sucking issues), now I am a nail biter, and in elementary school I always used to chew on my clothes.
Sorry for the long post, but I really feel like I could have SPD. Especially since I have already been diagnosed with auditory processing disorder. Plus I think it answers why sometimes I feel out of control and really immature for my age. Plus autism and things like dyslexia run very high in my family. What do you guys think?
Thank you!