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+--- Thread: Hello and help? (/thread-3822.html)
Hello and help? - carey934 - 07-25-2017
Hello. Looking for people who might understand what it's like to walk in my shoes. I've recently stumbled on SPD and it explains what I have been suffering with all of my life.
I have seen numerous psychologists and psychiatrists over the years and they all say the same thing to me - I exhibit a little bit of many disorders, but not enough to qualify me as having that disorder. I have mild OCD, I have mild agorophobia, I have mild social anxiety, etc...etc...
Lo and behold, I've only just now learned that these are symptoms of SPD and it explains a lot!
I have always been a fussy eater. I don't like my foods to touch. I don't eat 'mixed' foods. I've been teased and made fun of my whole life because of it. I've never eaten a salad. Not once. I often know exactly how things are going to taste just by the smell. Some smells (like onions) make me want to wretch.
In trying to raise awareness about the serious nature of picky eaters like me, I used the popularity of my YouTube channel to demonstrate the pure phobia I experience at most foods. To challenge myself, I picked something most people love - cheesecake. While I do like cream cheese, logically I should like cheesecake, but I already know I won't like it from how it looks and smells. I know trying it will cause me no physical harm, so I put mind over matter to make a video in an attempt to educate others how serious this issue really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hY97_-L7C6E
My mother made it clear to me, I was born like this. When I was an infant, I cried when certain people would hold me. If I had a dirty diaper, I cried until it was changed (apparently, I'm told, most kids don't care if they have a dirty diaper on). From about 5-7 years old, I used to make my mother double-knot (or triple-knot if possible) the laces on my shoes. My mother asked me if I remember making her do that when I was younger and asked me, as an adult, why? I explained to her that I did not know how to tie my own shoes and if they became untied at school, it would become obvious to the other kids that I didn't know and they would tease me. My belt on my pants had to be super-tight. I didn't want my pants falling down or having someone pants me at school.
My mother was shocked. What 5 year old thinks that way? I had to tell her, I didn't know any other way to think. My siblings are 'normal' - no one else in the family or extended family exhibits similar symptoms.
My mother says I was a dry birth and had the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck when I was born. Perhaps that's related, perhaps not.
My question is, now that I know what this is, what can I do about it?
Thank you!