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SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - moshpa - 04-11-2013
Hi, I'm new here, posted an intro a few days ago on the introductions board. In a nutshell, I live in France and am 99% certain my 5 year old son has SPD, mainly sensory seeking.
But my question is: do you find that your sensory seeking child is also defiant and / or disobedient? That is what has my husband and me at our wit's end. We fight with him from morning to night, everything from "put your socks and shoes on" to "stop falling off your chair" to "brush your teeth and go to bed" - every single thing we say to him sets off a tantrum.
We're having a terrible time getting him seen here, and finding someone to figure out what is going on with him. We saw a child psychologist today whose response was: "Well, he is interesting, isn't he. I've never seen a child like him before." I wish I was joking.
The defiance is mainly towards my husband and me, it rarely comes out at school or in sports, though today at the psych's office, she asked him to do things (put away things he'd been playing with) and he blatantly ignored her like he does to us, and she & we had to ask him repeatedly. (But he didn't dissolve into a tantrum like he does with us.)
Sorry to ramble on... after 5 years of this behavior and little help from any quarter, I just don't know what to do or where to look at this point.
RE: SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - LAC1961 - 04-11-2013
I have seen this intermittently with my daughter, who is also a seeker and is diagnosed with dyspraxia. I'd recommend the book Effective Parenting for the Hard to Manage Child. In addition, since I put my daughter on the Feingold Diet (unfortunately only available in US and Canada I think?) we see almost no defiance. Do they allow BHT to be added to foods and packaging in France? That was the biggest culprit for my daughter.
Don't be sorry. You're not rambling. It takes a lot out of a person to deal 24/7 with an SPD child. Have you read any of the books about implementing a sensory diet at home?
RE: SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - Kate_M - 04-15-2013
Hi Moshpa,
I feel for you! This has to be the hardest area for us as well.
I think what has helped with our son who is 6, is:
Have a set routine, preferably with visual prompts
Give him enough time - don't let him sleep in or keep playing until you are rushing to finish and leave in time. Our son becomes impossible if we get to this stage!
Either help him set out clothes the night before, or put these out for him on his bed/non-cluttered surface so everything is readily available
Try warn him ahead of time that you're going to be changing to doing something else, or that you'll be leaving. We warn our son 10 minutes ahead of time and then every 2 minutes after this so that he can disengage from what he's doing and start thinking about the next thing.
The shoes & socks could be a reaction to tactile sensitivity. The falling off his chair could also be a vestibular sensory issue and might not be something he can help. Maybe try a vibrating toothbrush as these apparently work better for SPD kids...?
If I can recommend a book that's been a great help to me as a starting point - it's concise and doesn't overwhelm you with lots of information - it's "Answers to questions teachers ask about sensory integration". It contains symptom checklists for every age bracket from infant to adult, and a very handy breakdown of what behaviours are typical with disfunction in which sensory area.
http://www.amazon.com/Answers-Questions-Teachers-Sensory-Integration/dp/1932565469
OTplan.com can be very helpful in guiding you in activities you can start with your son while you wait for further assessments, etc.
I can't quite believe that comment from the child psychologist... wow. o_0
RE: SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - myson - 04-17-2013
(04-15-2013, 10:35 AM)Kate_M Wrote: Hi Moshpa,
I feel for you! This has to be the hardest area for us as well.
I think what has helped with our son who is 6, is:
Have a set routine, preferably with visual prompts
Give him enough time - don't let him sleep in or keep playing until you are rushing to finish and leave in time. Our son becomes impossible if we get to this stage!
Either help him set out clothes the night before, or put these out for him on his bed/non-cluttered surface so everything is readily available
Try warn him ahead of time that you're going to be changing to doing something else, or that you'll be leaving. We warn our son 10 minutes ahead of time and then every 2 minutes after this so that he can disengage from what he's doing and start thinking about the next thing.
The shoes & socks could be a reaction to tactile sensitivity. The falling off his chair could also be a vestibular sensory issue and might not be something he can help. Maybe try a vibrating toothbrush as these apparently work better for SPD kids...?
If I can recommend a book that's been a great help to me as a starting point - it's concise and doesn't overwhelm you with lots of information - it's "Answers to questions teachers ask about sensory integration". It contains symptom checklists for every age bracket from infant to adult, and a very handy breakdown of what behaviours are typical with disfunction in which sensory area.
http://www.amazon.com/Answers-Questions-Teachers-Sensory-Integration/dp/1932565469
OTplan.com can be very helpful in guiding you in activities you can start with your son while you wait for further assessments, etc.
I can't quite believe that comment from the child psychologist... wow. o_0
(04-17-2013, 05:59 AM)myson Wrote:(04-15-2013, 10:35 AM)Kate_M Wrote: Hi Moshpa,
I feel for you! This has to be the hardest area for us as well.
I think what has helped with our son who is 6, is:
Have a set routine, preferably with visual prompts
Give him enough time - don't let him sleep in or keep playing until you are rushing to finish and leave in time. Our son becomes impossible if we get to this stage!
Either help him set out clothes the night before, or put these out for him on his bed/non-cluttered surface so everything is readily available
Try warn him ahead of time that you're going to be changing to doing something else, or that you'll be leaving. We warn our son 10 minutes ahead of time and then every 2 minutes after this so that he can disengage from what he's doing and start thinking about the next thing. Whoops sorry new to this hmmm! My son has complete meltdowns at home and school he doesnt tolerate light touch or classroom noise,he has bowel problems and having thorough testing from speech therepist EP and autistic specialist he also has ocd and possible Tourettes he is thirteen and now on a reduced timetable at school to help with his extreme anxiety.Please to meet u all!
The shoes & socks could be a reaction to tactile sensitivity. The falling off his chair could also be a vestibular sensory issue and might not be something he can help. Maybe try a vibrating toothbrush as these apparently work better for SPD kids...?
If I can recommend a book that's been a great help to me as a starting point - it's concise and doesn't overwhelm you with lots of information - it's "Answers to questions teachers ask about sensory integration". It contains symptom checklists for every age bracket from infant to adult, and a very handy breakdown of what behaviours are typical with disfunction in which sensory area.
http://www.amazon.com/Answers-Questions-Teachers-Sensory-Integration/dp/1932565469
OTplan.com can be very helpful in guiding you in activities you can start with your son while you wait for further assessments, etc.
I can't quite believe that comment from the child psychologist... wow. o_0
Sorry i am still trying to work out how to use this site! My son is thirteen and having great difficulties he suffers ocd and is on med to help with this and also being diagnosed Tourettes and a autistic specialist from acoss is testing him.He has been found to have sensory issues that has been picked up.He has angry meltdowns thumps himself in the face or walls etc.He is very set in what he wants and if he doesnt happen goes into meltdown he eats obsessively and if i refuse again turns into a meltdown he doesnt tolerate classroom noise and doesnt tolerate certain teachers by there faces or how they sound.He is on a reduced timetable at school to reduce anxiety.His meltdowns are over any slight thing and his reaction is extreme.He has bowel issues and doesnt get the sensation to go to the toilet in time and starts to poop his pants, he does clean himself up straight away he is on medication for this but it has been happening since he was little also can also notice finish off urinating in toilet properly and wet patch on trousers.He likes shoes tight doesnt tolerate tags n seams and gets agitated.Anyone relate?
RE: SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - Kate_M - 04-19-2013
Sounds like a lot of sensory issues going on, myson...
Look up sensory seeking as your son seems to fall more into that category, with wanting proprioceptive input as well (tight laces).
I would try get him compression wear (eg under armour or the generic range at Target if you're in the USA), and see an OT for the sensory issues. OTplan.com can offer help with some activities you can start doing at home.
RE: SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - myson - 04-19-2013
(04-19-2013, 04:29 AM)Kate_M Wrote: Sounds like a lot of sensory issues going on, myson...
Look up sensory seeking as your son seems to fall more into that category, with wanting proprioceptive input as well (tight laces).
I would try get him compression wear (eg under armour or the generic range at Target if you're in the USA), and see an OT for the sensory issues. OTplan.com can offer help with some activities you can start doing at home.
Thankyou for your reply! I appreciate your time in anseering my post.I am from the uk.I will look up compression wear.I have already bought him a chew necklace which seems to be helping some and ordered a sensory toothbrush as he doesnt like brushing his teeth.Today speech therepist and EP are spending all day with him so i await imput from them also.Thanks again
RE: SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - Kate_M - 04-19-2013
maybe try redvenom: http://redvenom.co.uk/products/short-sleeve-compression-top
Maybe the XS could work?
or there are some youth size options here:
http://www.compressionsportswear.co.uk/by-gender/boys
these are quite pricey unfortunately
I hope you find something that helps you soon.
RE: SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - myson - 04-20-2013
(04-19-2013, 04:10 PM)Kate_M Wrote: maybe try redvenom: http://redvenom.co.uk/products/short-sleeve-compression-top
Maybe the XS could work?
or there are some youth size options here:
http://www.compressionsportswear.co.uk/by-gender/boys
these are quite pricey unfortunately
I hope you find something that helps you soon.
Thanks Kate defo going to buy the compression t shirt hope it help! The EP and ST came again to test my son but they are very confused and never seen this before but my son has regressed to a five year old level with his understanding they are getting back in touch with tbe child mental health team.His assessments are never ending and very draining I wish someone would commit to a some kind of diagnosis so we can help and understand his needs I know people dont like labels but i think it helps to understand and get the right support.
RE: SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - Kate_M - 04-25-2013
I agree with you, while I don't think labels are helpful in terms of people defining themselves by a label, I do think it goes a long way to getting the help you need.
My sister is in the UK and her son has Aspergers. She says it took 18months to get the diagnosis... I don't mean this in a bad way, I just want to try say you may need to try be patient while they sort your referrals and get you in to see the right kind of people... Hang in there - you will get there.
If you can, try get some of the great books that are available - Out of sync child, sensational kids, etc. They are sure to offer you some insight into at least some of his behaviour and might be able to guide you in which things will be most helpful to him while you wait for a diagnosis.
Do you have a gym or play area nearby where they would let him jump on a trampoline? It is great for them as it gives a lot of proprioceptive input.
I had to send my 6 year old to school this morning in CNS shut-down - he wasn't even registering half of what I said to him. The light in his eyes isn't quite there... And knowing his teacher will treat him as though he's just being naughty just breaks my heart.
Some days I feel like this is just hopeless.
RE: SPD sensory seeking and defiance / disobedience? - LAC1961 - 04-30-2013
Champion, Reebok and UnderArmour all make compression shirts, both short and long sleeve. You can find them on sale for $15-$20 at Target.com or Amazon. Type in compression shirt. I found some last week at Dick's Sporting Goods for $14.97 on clearance--long sleeve leftovers from winter.