My son is 4 years old, and was diagnosed with SPD when he was 2. I didn't really believe that it was a real thing, and that my son had it. I know i should have looked more into it and believed but i didn't want to. Well now my son is 4, 5 in January and i'm having alot of problems that i know are because of his SPD. He has meltdowns over the littles things and he gets very abusive and hurts himself or tries to hurt others. I can't get him to go to sleep at night or stay asleep. I don't know what to do anymore, everyone just keeps saying its because of the new baby, but i know its not. at night when its bedtime and i start getting him ready for bed he flips out starts screaming and having a meltdown, how can i help him go to bed and stay asleep? Also how can i help him with the meltdowns? i mean he melts down over everything, if i say hold on 1 second and then ill get you milk he flips out. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if it matters but he has a stuffed monkey that he HAS to have with him that he dresses up in his baby sisters clothes and "takes care of."
Symptoms can come out during stressful times, especially if you just had a new baby and linger. Have you taken your son for OT or any kind of therapy? Even if he can keep the SPD under wraps most of the time, it is helpful to integrate some of the techniques into everyday life even if they are not having a meltdown period/day/week. My son (3, a sensory seeker) flares up to the extremes during changes, stressful events, exciting times (like a family member coming to visit), or when he sick. Some of the therapy techniques specific to your son's needs should get your family back in balance. The not sleeping is rough. We go through patches where it takes hours to get my son to sleep because he cannot stop himself from jumping, banging, and screaming. Hang in there!
Have you tried a weighted blanket or melatonin for sleeping?
Weighted blankets are absolutely amazing.
Also, what type of SPD symptoms does he has? Hypersensitivity? Seeking? Hyposensitivity? Hypersensitivity? Dyspraxia? All of the above? More?
Changes definitely bring on regression. My son is 4.5. He just started a new school, and it really has been hard for him. We experience a lot of the same behaviors you mentioned with frequent meltdowns and hitting himself or biting himself when upset. I have my son is OT once a week and behavior therapy once a week right now. We also make sure he is getting a balanced "sensory diet." With a new baby, I know it's hard to get outside, but he may need to take a walk or go to the playground to run off some of his stress.
Jessica, I also rejected SPD as a legitimate issue when first told by an OT that my son had sensory issues. In my ignorance at the time, I thought it was something that was made up by somebody who needed to feel smart and find an excuse for their own child who had more problems than mine. Then reality sank in. Don't kick yourself for not getting after it immediately. You are not the only one to have a reaction like that. You are working at it now, and that is what is important. It is never too late to make a positive change. you and your child can do it together.
Consider having a behavior specialist come to your home and your child's daycare/school etc to see what is going on. They should be able to sit down with you and help you with strategies. Also consider having a formal evaluation by a child development specialist who can check for a full range of issues if things are still bigger than you alone can manage. There is help out there, and you are not alone.
You and your child will be in our prayers when we get ready for bed shortly.
If you're willing to try something on the more extreme side, visit the site: feingold.org, and you'll learn a lot about how his diet is affecting his behavior. We're doing it for my daughter and have seen improvement re: tantrums and accidents. It's not easy the first week, but it does get easier as you get adjusted to it. I think it's at least worth consideration with all SPD kids.
First, get a consistant schedule going for him. Try and figure out what his triggers are, clothing, sounds, smells, etc... Watch what sets him off, when he is beginning to have a meltdown do you try to grab ahold of him and he gets worse? ( My son would flip out!) That is because he does not like being touched. He cannot get to sleep probaby because he cannot selfsoothe. My son would be flip floping all night. Weight blankets, maybe tigher pj's ( under armor is something that my son's OT suggested) Find a different way to get him to wait, make up a game get picture cards and hold one up that shows a clock. Patience is something that SPD kids do not have! I know mine does not!!! SO asking him to wait a second or whatever is like asking him to wear sandpaper. Remember to put yourself in his shoes, check the textures of his clothes, my son will NOT wear denim, smells things that only a wolf can smell, ears like an eagle. Chnges and transitions are huge as well, sometimes advance notice of what is going to be going on wil help, make him his own picture board, he can take the picture card off after a task is done. Picture cards for transition, these can be found for free online, clear contact paper, and a metal ring. Get a stop sign picture card, a clock, etc... whatever fits into your schedule. FIgure out a differnt warning system for punishment, the stop light system etc.. A lot of visual. I personally make my son do push-ups, the deep pressure helps and he hates them. ahahahaha anyway... If he is a sensory seeker , hyper, can't sleep at night, A LOT of heavy work during the day. If you grocery shop, let him carry the milk in. Remember that different adjustments will cause differnt behaviors, these transitions take time for them to adjust to. See if you can get OT help, Out of Sync books are great, they have great ideas for differnt games and things to help with these issues. I learnd tons from my sons former OT and just by reading all kinds of books. Watching how my son reacts to different situations and I was able to find out what set him off, what didn't and tried to incorporate that. Remember tho life is life and we do have to know how to deal with changes, so that cannot be avoided. Socialization is very important and is something that is very hard at times for SPD kids. Don't get frustrated, we are all here for you. It will take time but you can do it. LEt him carry the diaper bag, I am sure that is heavy! lol Write any time we have all been through it, are new to it everyday with new behaviors you and your children will be ok!!!!! Have a great day!
Thank you for all your tips. It is so nice to know that im not the only one. Sometimes i just feel like im screaming for help and no one is help, i am so glad i have found this support group!! I have talked to his doctor and we are going to be getting him into OT. He is EXTREMELY hyper, its like he never stops. i was thinking of trying a weighted blanket does anyone know a good website to get one?
I make them, cheap! Let me know, here is my email... busybodyskids@yahoo.com Start getting him to do a lot of heavy work during the day. There is always going to be something that comes up! I thnk my son is regressing! Ever since third grade started! Last night we went out to dinner, got pumpkins, when we got him it was meltdown city! He always blames everything on his brother! Last night was the first time in a long time I have seen him restless at bedtime. So something is up and it is making me crazy not knowing and not being able to figure it out! I use all my techniques that we have always used and they aren't working as well! Ugh! So, there is always going to be somethig that pops up! Just try and keep mental notes of what went on during that day and maybe it can be figured out!