(02-27-2011, 10:52 PM)I have SPD. Wrote: I'm leaving this thread open for discussion on how SPD affects one's emotional life. See my first post on this thread for an example.

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Having SPD makes me feel bad about myself. I know in my head that I'm not less, but it can be hard not to feel like I'm less. I don't want touch to hurt.
When my senses are "off," I feel like a scared child and even more introverted than I normally am. SPD makes me feel different from everyone else and alone. I feel ashamed and guilty and like an outcast.

I have been with my partner whom had SPD for quite a while, we have known each other for years, and he had never told me about his condition. I always thought that the reason we weren't intimate or that he couldn't perform was because I was unattractive and doing something wrong. I only found out about this last week. Your post has really spoken to me. I feel like I can understand his inability to derive pleasure from tactile stimuli now, I just wish that I could do more to help him feel comfortable in his own skin. I care about him deeply, maybe more than he realizes, but the SPD has come between us long before I was aware of his condition. He will hug me and kiss me but he seems to have to initiate the contact to be comfortable. He shrinks away, sometimes violently, when I reach for him. We have been using the Wilbarger Brushing Protocol and it seems to help calm the burning sensation he feels from touch but he says he has a hard time with actually understanding the sensation of pleasure. He feels more disjointed, calm but out-of-place. The only thing I have for you is that when you do find a partner, communicate everything. I need him to tell what feels good, what doesn't feel good; when he is comfortable, when he is uncomfortable; what he actually wants and what he just does not understand. If you don't tell the person, even if you aren't intimately involved, they cannot assimilate to your lifestyle. It is very difficult, but just being able to know that there are methods to filter out the painful sensations gives me hope that I can be close to him.