Hey everyone.... I don't even know where to start except to say I'm soooo lost.
Lets just say I've always known my son was "quirky" but because he has some REALLY extreme allergies, we've always blamed that.... He's always sort of had to live in a bubble.
He has some pretty extreme sensory issues and I always noticed, but didn't realize it was "real" until the social worker at school told me about SPD a couple weeks ago . I now have some serious mommy guilt for being angry at him for things that I now know he can't help.... Or truly hurt him

Anyway, now that he's starting kindergarten my little angel has also turned into this tantrumming (is that a word?) little devil. His teacher says he's very serious, and robot like at school. So they figure he's desperately trying to contain himself while there and as soon as he gets home he just releases everything and is in complete meltdown mode. I am having a hard time dealing with it and seriously considering homeschooling.

Oh yeah... He's also in the process of being tested for Asperger's syndrome.

Thanks for listening! I am definitely looking forward to talking to people who might have some ideas how to deal with this
Dawn

Now that you know about SPD, I know you're going to find resources to help you through this difficult time. The two books that have helped me the most with my 5 y.o. SPD daughter are Sensational Kids and Growing an In-Sync Child. You may be able to identify what's setting off the tantrums by keeping a notebook for several days, and write down what your son is doing preceding the tantrum. If you find he's doing something sedentary prior to the tantrum, he may need more physical input in bursts throughout the day (heavy lifting, pushing, pulling, jumping). My daughter, 5, was diagnosed in July, and giving her heavy work throughout the day, keeps her on an even keel for the most part. The other day she had surgery to put in ear tubes, so she had a pretty quiet day. After supper she started having some major tantrums, so my husband just scooped her up and started holding her really tight. Even though she was weeping and resisting, he kept holding her tight, and after about two minutes, he could feel all her muscles relax, she stopped crying and suddenly became calm and happy. She just needed extra input to compensate for the day of relaxing. If you get a chance to read the two books, you'll learn lots more about this. Welcome to the site. I'm glad you joined us!

The meltdowns can be because of the changes, having to get used to a new routine, structure, all the noise, lights, etc. A kindergarten classroom can be overwhelming. I just saw Temple Grandin and she goes on and on about kids in the spectrum and how important building their social skills are. You have to advocate for your child at school because my experience with school has been awful! THey do not want to give the services that can help. You have to ride them like a bull! Every school year starts the whole meltdown again, new teacher, new classroom, etc... after a few weeks of adjustments he is ok. Go in the classroom and see where he sits, maybe there is something to stimulating, maybe he needs to sit by the window because the lights are annoying him, that was one of the things that Temple Grandin said that flourscent lights are the WORST thing in a school, you can put the child by the window with a desk lamp with a regular light bulb. Maybe he might need to get up and move around periodically, pulled for OT, social group, does he have an IEP? Send him with fidget toys, the teacher should work with you regarding this. THink about how overwhelming this all is, hanging up coats with all the kids and their talking, switching from task to task, I know my son needs ample warning for transition and what is going on. If transition is an issue for him, maybe he needs his own picture cards on his desk. After school maybe take him to a park or somewhere he can run and get that energy out so his meltdowns are not so severe. Good luck and remember we are all here for you! We have to be patient when they cannot!