I suppose that eventually I'll get past the point where I have to say, has anyone else ever felt like... but it'll probably be a while.

I had an unusual burst of optimism and energy, mainly sparked by everyone's helpful advice and warm welcome in the last couple of days. I used this burst as an opportunity to really try to "clean up my act," as far as doing things that will help me with my tension level. I chewed gum as I drove home yesterday with my dark sunglasses on, I talked productively to my husband about some sensory things that have been bothering me, and I did a good bit of massaging with my small yoga ball on my back and neck last night. This morning, when I woke early, instead of heading back to bed, I capitalized on my relaxation from the massaging and cleared a spot for my therapy ball and spent a good half hour rolling and bouncing. I wore my finger rosary and squeezed it as I drove to work, and I remembered to bring my small yoga ball so I can massage again today around lunch time.

The net result is a confusing feeling. I am rarely so relaxed, so I almost feel as though I'm not alert enough, or my body isn't alert enough. And it's not true; I'm very flexible and responding to stim in a reasonable amount of time. I guess it's just that I'm not used to feeling my muscles not being stressed to the limit without that accompanying my body just giving up in exhaustion, unable to respond.

Sound familiar to anyone?