My younger son (6 years) hasn't officially been diagnosed, but he shows all the signs of a sensory seeker.

One of his things is eating all his food with his fingers. I don't have any issues with it, but it drives my husband crazy. He insists that our son eat with a fork or spoon. That he's not an animal and needs to learn to eat with utensils.

Should I tell hubby to ease up on his rules or encourage our son more often that he needs to use a fork?

Any suggestions either way?

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My older son (almost 10) is officially diagnosed with SPD. One of the things he does is change his mind about something. I'll offer the boys peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a hot dog for lunch. He'll pick one and I'll make it for him. Then once it's ready and he sees the food, he tells me no, I wanted a hot dog not a PB&J. I tell him, You told me PB&J. "No, I didn't." etc. Then it turns into this childish back and forth argument. It drives me crazy.

Most of the time I make him stick with his decision, especially when I can't really go back and change whatever it was. If it's something like picking a TV show to watch (or whatever), I might let him change his mind once, but then that's it, no changing back to the first choice again.

I know he needs structure in his day and a routine, but I try to let them have small choices during the day. Should I remove any choice at all? Should I just continue to argue with him that he told me he wanted X, not Y? How do I do this without going to a white padded room with a "huggy" jacket?