ty so much. I'm sorry but I am actually very close to tears right now. I just finally feel like someone understands and doesn't think i'm a bad mom. I will do these things as soon as I can. We have a birth to three program here which is free. maybe the first step is to call them. Then at his next checkup, in a couple of weeks ask for the referrals, since he has his two year check up. now my biggest worry is that i waited so long! I've known since the baby food that something was out of place, so to speak, and im going to use the two weeks to write everything down and learn about the spd, so i can be informed when i do get to talk to a developmental pediatrician and OT. Strangely, I am upset that he might have this, but more relieved than anything else, because ive tried to fix these things on my own and I can't. i need help for him, to help him be the best him he can be!