Hi everyone,

I am from B.C., Canada and I have known for a long time that there was something different about my almost 4 y.o. son. I'm on maternity leave with my now 4 month old and during this last four months have had more opportunity to focus on the issues that I have sensed for a long time with my first born. He was born at 37 weeks, due to complications I was having with the pregnancy, but the maternity nurses were convinced that he behaved more like a 35-36 weeker. He was born with a very deep palate which my sister recognized right away (she was a dental assistant) and could not latch on the breat. Forceful teachings by Public Health nursing consultants only made me more upset and frustrated and my abandoning trying to get him to latch on the breast made me feel like a failure. He was generally an easy baby all in all, slept through the night at 3 months, but wouldn't take a soother or latch on to a blanket and only wanted his thumb. He was a frequent spitter despite trying every type of formula and when it was time to switch to solids, we were introduced to his very violent gag reflex and aversion to different textures. He still tries to stuff his face and gags uncontrollably to the point that everyone thinks he is choking. This is an almost daily occurance for him. He had frequent ear infections and was on antibiotics more often then not. He finally had tubes put in Dec 2011. This is when I really started to notice his hypersensitivity to sounds. He frequently says that "you're too noisy", the baby cries and he covers his ears and cries as well. He can't go into the daycare coat room when everyone else is getting changed because it is too upsetting for him. He was diagnosed with poor vision in December 2011 as well for which he now has glasses and his having them increased again to a very high (+5 in both eyes) setting. He hates any change in routine and is known to have an absolute meltdown when he is seemingly forced into an activity. My husband and I are very active and wanting our son to also be active, we enrolled him in very basic skating lessons. It took eight 30 minute sessions before he could coordinate "marching his feet" and pushing a small plastic chair around the ice at the same time. The two year olds in his class could do it by the end of the first session. He cried unbelievably during these times with snot and tears all over his face and jacket. I was so embarrased, I could see the other parents/grandparents staring at him. I'm ashamed to say I lost my cool more then once when we got back in the car and said some things to him that I regret. "why can't you get it?" "You're smarter then that" "stop being a baby and be a big boy". I still get upset as I know he can remember things like this and I can't take it back. On the plus side, he mastered a balance bike in no time flat, on the down side, he has really outgrown it and in the last few days we got him a bigger bike with pedals and training wheels. Today I had the "a-ha" moment", he cannot cooridnate steering and using the pedals, it is like there is a brain body disconnect. He became unconsolable within minutes and did the same crying, snot out of his nose the whole time we tried. My answer to the problem was "try harder, everyone else can do it your age". Then it was time for skating ( I take him to a public skate). He can hold his balance but cannot lift his feet up and down, only shuffle. He is very distracted by sounds, the clock in the rink. He cannot stand up without help. I came home and again was frustrated. I finally looked over some books that I got 1 week ago from the library about "difficult behaviours" and started reading about SPD. It fits him to a "T". It is like the lights went off. He HATES public bathrooms, toilets are scary, hand dryers will send him into a fit. He will only eat four things, his coordination is quite poor, he frequently trips, has trouble jumping, will not entertain many playgrounds "too scary, too big". He does not like to be tickled or touched. Kisses for the most part have always been out of the question. At any rate, I think today, through this site and another SPD global site, I understand what he may have. I will now need to investigate getting him fully assessed by an OT who specializes in diagnosing. I wish I would have followed by gut a long time ago that "something wasn't right" but maybe now, I can move on and try to be a more understanding parent and help to facilitate the best possible nurturing environment for my son. Thank you,

Donna