Hi All,
My name is Jonathan, 26 years old from North Carolina.
Although I have not yet been officially diagnosed, I'm quite sure I have SPD or some form thereof.
Ever since I can remember, I have had serious issues with noises. In specific, pretty much any noise that comes from the mouth that isn't talking. Chewing/smacking of food, heavy breathing, gum chewing or popping, snoring, anything really that isn't talking. It goes so far beyond just being "annoyed" it is literally pain. It invokes such anger, and becomes all I can concentrate on.
It has gotten to the point where it affects my daily life with my Fiance, friends, and family. I can't go out to eat in public, I can't go to the movie theater because of the sound of others chewing popcorn. The sound of the candy wrappers (stiff plastic) crinkling. I become so enraged and as I stated it literally hurts to hear these noises. I have to remove myself if at all possible, and the scenarios where I can't I get an instant head ache that lasts for hours. What makes it worse, is when I'm in a situation where there is some one around me, all I can do is to focus on their mouth. Under my breath I'm saying how "I can't believe how much noise they're making" or "that is SOOOO disgusting". I don't understand why something that causes me so much pain and anger, becomes the only thing I can concentrate one. When I think I hear a noise, I can do nothing but concentrate on it... for verifcation? I don't know. Even when I know what the noise is, and how much I hate it, it becomes an obsession. In those situations where I'm stuck, such as in the waiting room stuck with somebody continuously popping their gum, it has caused me to have a breakdown. I have had multiple break downs in public and while quite embarrassing, seems to make the next situation even worse.
Looking back, and after taking various checklists across the net I realize I do have some sensory defensiveness about touching. I have a hard time with touches from others, and anything that is "irritating" from the tags on my clothes to the stitching on socks. Again it's a pain response.
Knowing now that I'm not crazy, and this could potentially be a real condition that I suffer from, my search begins for a treatment option. I'm looking forward to reading the various discussions on this forum, and hopefully finding a solution.
My condition has led to years and years of depression, failed relationships, and it seems to be only getting worse. I've reached a point where I have to do something.
I'm most looking for where to turn to get help. Whether that is through medication (which I'm not opposed to) or therapy. I've tried therapy before, and other than wasting huge amounts of time and money it's done nothing for me (for other issues in life, not necessarily SPD as I didn't know there was such a thing). I don't know if this is something that a PCP can handle, or a psychologist, or psychiatrist.
Anywho, that's my introduction. Don't want to spill all the guts so early
Look forward to talking with you all,
Jonathan
