Yeah, drinking to excess is always a bad idea.

Well, I have made a decision about half an hour ago. I am so sick and tired of being a whipping boy for seriously messed-up people who do not want to put any effort in picking themselves up. I cannot help them if they have no real desire to do anything outside of wallowing, so I should just stop trying in those cases. That certainly will save me a lot of needless stress. A part of me thinks taking such a route is cruel - but then again, those people are cruel for walking all over me and getting pissed off at me when I express no desire to be a damn doormat for them. All these people are really looking for are doormats - people who will enable their destructive ways without any complaint whatsoever. I went through this with my ex-roommate, and I went through this with this asshole on the phone today - I am NOT willing to go through with this again. I cannot help people who insist on destroying themselves and everybody around them without a care in the world outside of themselves.

Yeah, I am seriously pissed off now that I thought about this some more. And, no, I am not going to call him tomorrow. If he chooses to call me, I'll straight up tell him exactly what I think about his disgusting behavior today. That'll end the friendship, but hell, he had no reservations about telling me his paranoia fantasies about how he thinks I really have a hidden motive in talking with him - and then at the end of the phone conversation where he constantly berated me and told me that I am not proper friend material for him, he has the nerve to tell me he cares about me (which I think is a planned play to keep me listening to him and to keep me in the spot of being his doormat). Such manipulative moves even when totally drunk out of his mind. Really. Yeah, I used to care about him, and in a way I still do. But today, he was completely out of line. There was nothing I could say that didn't offend his drunken sensibilities - it was exactly like he was looking for reasons to bitch and moan and wallow in his sea of negativity.

I guess I should have seen this coming when he told me he was giving up on AA - and he told me he was giving up because he thought the 12-steps called for him labeling himself as an inferior human being (and they really don't), and because he does not want to admit that he was ever at fault at any time in his life. According to him, he has "always lived a decent life" and the 12-steps would never work for him. Also according to him, he has had countless sponsors give up on him over the course of the last decade because he did not want to do any 12-step work - he just wanted to get drunk, stoned, high, coked up, tripping on acid, etc. instead. He has worn out his welcome with many other people over the years, and now he has officially worn out his welcome with me.