Have you ever thought of a life change and moving and finding a job doing something that pertains to a preserve or something on that order? Seriously, if that is what makes you the happiest and would allow you to live life would it be something to consider? When I went to see Temple Grandin that is something she pushed on everyone was allowing the child to presue their passion, you didn't have that opportunity as a child but you can now. You are still so young. My son loves the ocean and he wants to be a marine biologist, he can name everything in the ocean. There are things I have never heard of, when he was three he knew that octopus had a beak! Hell I never even knew that! I am all about him learning about what he is passionate about and going for it! He was already worried about not being able to go to college because I couldn't afford it, I said that is called a LOAN! lol You need to do what makes you happy and makes you feel good! You cannot live your life miserable I bet you have so much to offer!