I have to sincerely thank you for calling me abnormal. Because, you're right, it is the truth. I've tried to talk to so many friends about how I feel and most of them just brush it off as "everyone has their own type of weird" which is true. But my weird doesn't consist of liking the Twilight series a little too much or anything along those lines... but well you know, you've experienced this I'm sure. You understand.

For real though, your simple response and suggestions make perfect sense. And honestly some of this stuff I've been doing my whole life without even really realizing. I often sit at work with my earbuds in and no music playing. It helps to slightly block out the grunts and coughs, ticking of keyboards, copiers, chatter, you name it of any normal office. And it really does help to steer people away from what can be frequent socializing stops. See, I'm a graphic designer and there isn't much that will stop most gabby creatives from chit chatting lol.

Also for as long as I can remember I sleep under a stack of blankets. I don't sleep well even on a good night, and can forget getting any sort of sleep if I don't have heavy blankets from head to toe and my huge box fan pointing at my face (I feel like I'm suffocating without the fast circulating air. I always thought it came from having asthma and not liking the sensation, but now I'm wondering if there is more to why I do it). Currently there are 4 comforters and a sheet on my bed, a HUGE collection of pillows and a heavy body pillow. I just recently had to add the 4th one. Sleep has become even more of an issue since all my other sensation issues have become increasingly worse.

I really feel like I could go on all day about how I feel and what I experience. I've never had any sort of conversation with anyone who experiences anything remotely like what I do. And I am scared to death for some reason of approaching a diagnosis. I think I need to, I think I need help. This, especially recently, feels like it's taking over my life. I'm single again because my partners just can't handle or understand or something my touch issues. They can't help but take it personally, and that is crushing to everyone involved. It just feels so debilitating anymore especially since it slaps me in the face every morning with the simple act of tooth brushing. I feel so alone even though I do have group of great friends, but people have a hard time understanding something that seems so... I don't know trivial? I get looks like "you're crazy, just sleep without the fan" "don't be silly, you must be exaggerating"

I guess this is my first step to really accepting that maybe there is a greater thing going on. I've always known, but apparently KNOWING and ACCEPTING can be two very different things. Thank you, Tuttle, for taking the time to listen to my tearful ranting. I just feel so overwhelmed by life right now. Everything it just so so much right now.