At one time or another in the past two years, I've expressed all the thoughts you have expressed. We adopted my daughter (now 6) at age 2 and 3 months. The level of one on one attention she requires is just barely better than it was at that time. My husband often reminds me, "You knew if we adopted through the State, the child would have problems." My reply is always, "Yes, I knew that, but I didn't expect to have a 6 year old that can't be left alone for more than a couple of minutes without getting into trouble or danger." I had a family obligation last week to attend to all day, and when I got home at 8:30 p.m. he informed me that he was so tired all day they had watched TV for most of the day. As you can imagine, bedtime was pretty difficult. I'm not faulting my hubby as I know how he felt, but the difference is that I force myself to keep her active all day and limit TV to no more than one full-length movie or most days to one short educational TV show (think Dora).
I recommend you check out this blog: http://www.spdbloggernetwork.com/2011/04...diagnosis/
I'm sure you'll find lots of encouragement and, hopefully, a few laughs to lighten the load.
I recently "retired" and now have a greater appreciation for day care. I should have know it would be just like weekends, only now it's 7 days a week, but I was apparently deluded.
I have found every little thing you do to treat the SPD contributes to improved functioning. I used to think some new treatment would be the magic bullet that resulted in the great leap into normalcy. Now I see that each thing moved our daughter a little closer to normal functioning. So keep trying different therapies, treatments, diets, etc. and eventually improvement does show. Do what makes sense to you and ignore the doubters. One thing I've learned myself and from all the other parents I've read about on the various blogs and forums is that you have to grow a thick skin as most people don't and/or won't understand SPD.
One very encouraging thing I learned from a book I read last year was that the majority of kids with SPD are about 1/3 of their age behind developmentally. I helps to manage your expectations, and if you realize that functionally your child is 1/3 of their age behind, it's easier to accept that they're doing something you think they shouldn't be doing any longer.
Here are some articles I discovered about explaining SPD to others:
http://www.parentsupportspace.com/explai...to-others/
http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-senso...order.html
http://chicagoplayproject.com/explaining...-children/
My usual answer is "My daughter has a neurological disorder that prevents nerve signals from being correctly processed in her brain." I haven't ever had anyone question that. My bigger dread is how other children will treat her when she starts all-day school in a month. She attended a 2-hr. a day summer school program this month, and she was already coming home telling me some kids were making fun of her. We have to keep plugging along, one day at a time.
I encourage you to stay on this forum (and others) to stay connected with people who truly understand what you're going through.